So, another birthday is upon me. I suppose i'm surprised i made it this far!

Thank you, T, for the "Happy 23rd" note... it was sweet! =^)

Normally, i dread my birthday. Getting older, still feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled... usually spending it alone.

This year feels different somehow. I suppose the reason i've felt like my life isn't going anywhere in the past is because i never mapped out what i wanted to do with it.

I guess i just expected everything to take care of itself. What a difference taking control has already made! And now that i've got goals actually written down on a page... and a plan... and confidence and esteem! Yes, this next year is going to be very exciting!

I haven't decided if i'm going to post my list of goals here or not... i figure i have until the first of the year to decide.

Besides, it's not like anyone reads this... or comments if they do! =^)

Anyway, it's time to slip out of work early and get my party on!

What i'm listening to:

What Makes You Happy
Liz Phair
whitechocolatespaceegg

I was sitting at the bar next to this beautiful brunette with the most amazing amber-colored eyes. They could have been contacts, i don't know... it was dark in the room.

Anyway, the bartender asks me what i'm drinking. The lovely lady next to me tells Ms. Bartender that i'll have a shot of Patron.

Since i'm a bit bar-challenged, i had to ask. So, i agreed to do the tequila shot... and to buy one for the lady as well.

"N" showed me how to properly do a tequila shot, since i had never done so before, and afterwards we chatted for a bit.

Somehow, food came up in the conversation. She mentions this place she refers to as the "pink taco." I knew exactly the place she was talking about, even though that isn't its name.

There is this small house on a corner that was converted into a small taco restaurant. The pink refers to the garish hot pink color that the building was painted in its last incarnation. It is no longer pink, but i'm afraid people in town will always remember when it was.

Anyway, she mentioned that they serve the best enchiladas i will ever eat. Oddly, i had never eaten there... even though the eating place is only three blocks from my house.

So, armed with her ringing endorsement, i approached the cow-orkers today with the idea. Surprisingly, it was an easy sell!

N was right, the enchiladas were fabulous! I'm afraid i'll be hooked on the food and eat there as often as i can... doing my part to ensure they stay open! Besides, i have got to try their carne asada burrito... it looked amazing as well!

Last night, as it was time for N and myself to part ways, i told her if i ever run into her at the "pink taco," i'll buy her lunch.

So, maybe someday i will! If she has anyplace else to suggest, it might be worth a try as well. I certainly owe her for that suggestion!

What i'm listening to:

Time (Clock of the Heart)
Culture Club
Kissing to Be Clever

So, i survived Christmas.

Actually, it was quite uneventful... and i really didn't expect otherwise. I guess i just need to figure out why being around this branch of my family is so awkward to me.

Don't get me wrong, they're all good people... i guess when i'm around them i just don't feel like i fit in. It's more like i'm on the outside looking in through the window. I don't really feel like i'm welcome, or invited.

And maybe i'm not... but i cannot assume no fault in the situation. I guess i haven't really taken the time to get to know them. It's not that i haven't had my opportunities. Perhaps i'll work on that over the course of the next year. It's more difficult now that my sisters are more spread out than before... the youngest is currently waiting to hear if she'll be transferred to Oregon or the Carolinas.

But, it's not too late... so yesterday, i made sure i got their contact information. I'm not sure what to say or how to keep in touch... but if i cannot find a way to get to know my own family, how can i expect to find a way to get to know my future wife?

My little sister and i seem to share quite a bit... such as our affinity for sleeping... enough to draw comments from our significant others. Oddly, that isn't something we share with our father. I wonder where that comes from?...

Grandmother commented on how much we look alike... which i couldn't help noticing yesterday as well.

Otherwise, the weekend wasn't much different from any other... except for the fact i didn't go out at all. I guess you could say i just didn't feel like it.

Ok, that's not true. I did have lunch with a friend on Saturday afternoon and managed to snag an invite to a New Year's Eve party. New year coming up... along with new goals and new possibilities.

You cannot possibly imagine how excited i am about the new year! Frankly, even though i rediscovered myself in '06... this year sucked!

The new year, on the other hand, will be fabulous. I'm finally taking control as well as responsibility for my life... and with the proper guidance from above... it will be sensational! =^)

What i'm listening to:

The Sweet Escape
Gwen Stefani
The Sweet Escape

What happened last night was a fluke... i'm not going to let it bother me too much. In a way, i'm sad i let it get to me at all.

However, i think it is interesting that T is the one i miss... not C. I think i realized that a while ago... but never really acknowledged it.

Like i said, not going to let it bother me.

Besides, i cannot turn a blind eye to how much my life has improved over the last year! Sometimes, a devastated broken heart can do you miracles.

And now, i'm really, really looking forward to '07. I've had my "rebuilding" year, now it's time to put what i've built to good use!

So much has changed... or maybe improved is a better word. I'll admit some things haven't changed at all. I'm still a list-maker. I have a list of what i'm looking for in Ms. Right... as well as Ms. Right Now. I have a list of accomplishment since the "before time," and i have a list of goals for 2007. The latter is something i've never really done before... writing down my goals.

So, i guess now i can hold myself accountable for what i do and don't do before my next birthday.

And to be honest, some of the things on the list i really have no idea how to accomplish... but i'm pretty confident i'll figure it out.

Maybe someday soon i'll post the list here. It'd be interesting to see if anyone comments on the items on it... or what the comments might be.

Of course, everyone who reads this (all 14 of you) is too shy to leave a comment. Or maybe you're just not moved to do so. I suppose that's fair.

What i'm listening to:

Peace & Hate
The Submarines
Declare a New State!

Tonight... started out pretty good.

And ended... well, i don't know exactly where it ended.

I'm home... alone... and posting a blog entry instead of rolling in the sheets with some sensational freckled brunette... so, i suppose it's not ending good.

I talked to the ex's brother for a bit tonight. Things are good in his life... but as usual, his sister came up in the conversation.

That's never good. Don't get me wrong, i enjoy talking with him... but when i talk about her, then i think about her.

Then i crawled from pub to pub.

The last pub i stopped at had a few people i recognized from the theatre crowd.

Which made me think of T.

Without a doubt, T was the most amazing woman i have ever met in my life. Yes, even moreso than C. She was everything i could ever hope for in a partner. I only hope someday i can find someone who made me feel the way T did.

Then, on the drive home... i noticed at least five police cars in T₂'s neighborhood. I really hope she's ok, because i know that her boyfriend isn't anyone i'd recommend anyone date. She deserves so much better... but then, so do a lot of other people.

I don't think i'd make her happy. Yes, the sex would be fantastic... but beyond that, i don't know what else would work. T₂ is gorgeous, has a fantastic personality, and a pair of incredibly cute kids... but she has problems i can't even pretend i can help her with.

And T is married.

And C... well, i'm not even going to go there.

Yes, i think i'm on the right track... i have some goals for 2007, and i think i should stay focused on those.

The future is bright... i just need to not let these distractions get to me.

What i'm listening to:

More Than a Feeling
Boston
Boston

Ok, i just don't get it.

Oh, don't even bother. Plenty of people have tried to explain it to me... but i just don't get it.

Apparently, the highlight for Kansas school kids has always been "chili day" for school lunches. Everyone i've talked to that was raised in Kansas confirms this.

I guess the chili was nothing spectacular, but those cinnamon rolls... those were worth it!

And after all of those years of being conditioned... if one serves chili, cinnamon rolls are expected on the menu as well.

Personally, i think years ago some state superintendent of schools with a sense of humor (not unlike mine!) had a brilliant idea. Something he could do to "program" the students that would go undetected... but would stick with them for the rest of their lives.

"I know, let's make these kids associate chili with cinnamon rolls! Never again will they enjoy one without the other! Ha ha ha ha ha!" *evil maniacal laugh*

Brilliant... bloody brilliant!

What i'm listening to:

Candyman
Christina Aguilera
Back to Basics

The credit union that i do business with has been hiring some very pretty and friendly tellers.

The teller i had the good fortune to extract money from today (yes, my money) was lovely... and i really enjoyed talking with her.

And, for a change, i came across as confident, but not arrogant. Charming, even... in spite of my head cold. And apparently my nose is no longer red...

This could be a good thing.

What i'm listening to:

White Chocolate Space Egg
Liz Phair
whitechocolatespaceegg

There's just something about a mild, rainy day in December. After all, winter starts in less than two days... shouldn't it be snowing?

Then again, in the summertime, i love the rain. Probably because it brings a chill to the air that is needed.

The dampness in the air combined with the cool evenings is actually making it damned cold. And i seem to have a high tolerance for cold.

Of course, i am sick, so i think i'm colder during moment of fever than the others.

It sucks, i feel like i'm wasting my valuable vacation time in bed, but after work i'm pretty shredded. It probably doesn't help that i tend not to eat when i'm sick... and 7-up doesn't have any caffeine.

Tonight, i'm supposed to meet with O and discuss/arrange a possible photo shoot. I have some great ideas, but i haven't taken the time to sketch them out. Of course, i did make tremendous headway on my house over the weekend before the mouth-breather returned... so that's not a terribly big obstacle. Yay!

Today, i decided (although it's probably a wee too late) to send out a couple of Christmas cards. One, i don't expect, will even get opened... but i don't even really care about that. She's just on my list.

There were several hot women at the store when i was there restocking on tissues and picking up a box of cards, but i'm not up to hitting on anyone right now. Maybe when my nose no longer glows in the dark and i don't sound like i forgot my nose at home.

Anyway, i have things to do, places to see, and people to... well, you get the picture. =^)

What i'm listening to:

Don't Stop Believin'
Journey
Escape

Well, i got my wish.

Which has its ups and its downs. Being sick, i'd much rather be at home curled up in bed and maybe getting caught up on my reading... or those many, many DVDs i've purchased since the 'before time' that i've not yet found time to watch.

A nice piping hot bowl of chicken noodle soup sounds good too. =^)

But no, i'm at work today. I figure if i'm going to feel miserable, i may as well get paid, right?

As long as i don't run out of tissues, i should be returning to normal in a day or two. I suppose the tissues don't really have anything to do with whether i'll return to normal or not. I just hope this remains a head cold... 'cos if it goes into my chest i will truly be miserable.

I abhor that drowning feeling. Yuck!

Anyway, i'll try not to bitch about being sick too much! =^)

What i'm listening to:

I Remember You
Skid Row
Skid Row