"Today, i miss my girlfriend..."

As i doodle this on my notebook, someone taps me on the shoulder.

"Shouldn't that be 'ex-girlfriend'?"

So, i'm thinking about this. I can honestly say i miss my "girlfriend." My "girlfriend" is a sweet, sensual, caring young woman who completes me.

I still don't know if i've even started to comprehend just how incomplete i am right now.

Anyway, i am able to function finally... although i'm still far from one hundred percent. I'm not sure i can believe i will ever find someone even remotely like her. Someone who accepts me totally and completely for who i am.

However, in her transition to "ex-girlfriend," i guess she stopped accepting me. I only wish i knew why.

She believes i will never change... no, her exact words were "people never change." I know she's wrong, but i cannot call her and tell her she's wrong. Hell, i may never even get the chance to prove to her she's wrong.

Change is the only constant in the universe. Wow, that sounds deep, doesn't it? It is true though. In some small way, i am not even the same person i was when i started this entry. Every minute i change, however subtly, i change.

And how can she not see it? Every time we spend together, i fall more in love with her. When we met, even she would agree that i was an insensitive asshole... and she would take every opportunity in the last three years to remind me that i was no longer that person, that i was no longer evil.

For her to cast me aside like she did... it still hurts. It has been almost seven weeks now, and some days are worse than the day she did it.

Granted, some are better.

Anyway, the time is drawing near to show her my heart. If she stomps on it, that is her right... then i will know my "girlfriend" is truly dead.

But if she shows even the slightest glimmer of the feelings she must still have...

Well, either way, i've got a very long, very difficult climb ahead of me... and it's not one i'm looking forward to. The important thing for me right now is to not put any pressure on her at all... and to let her know that i will still always be here for her.

I will still love her unconditionally...

What i'm listening to:

Hey Pretty
Poe
Haunted