Summer is over. No more time for excuses. It’s time to get back on track.

As I’m finding my way back, I’m finding that this is not a time for thinking. No windshield therapy. Less podcasts & audiobooks. Less music as well.

Zen comes from my awareness.

Somehow, I have had too much to think about over the last several months. Of course, it’s no coincidence that progress has stalled.

A wise man once told me the gut is always right. The head tends to over-analyze everything and talk the gut out of doing the right thing.

So, this is what I need to find my way back from.

Back to my passion of finding my passion... however circular that may seem.

What i'm listening to:

Missionary Man
Eurhythmics
Revenge

Every day is a battle.

Why?

Because I want to enjoy a rich life. One filled with amazing experiences and beautiful women. I want joy and happiness. And did I mention the women?

So, why the battle? This is achievable, right? Perhaps...

Yet every day I battle my tendency to be a curmudgeon.

For the unaware:

cur·mudg·eon n (archaic) 1.) A miser. 2.) An ill-tempered person full of stubborn ideas or opinions.

Is it ingrained in my personality? Or is it the way I was raised?

For whatever reason, if I don’t fight the good fight, I tend toward being curmudgeonly.

Deep down, I like it. It’s comfortable. Too comfortable.

Like an old pair of boxers, or those flannel sheets. It’s so comfortable, many days, if I don’t work at it, I’m unable to “switch it off,” and become charming.

Then comes the missed opportunity with the beautiful young lady at the coffee shop.

How does one who prefers solitude balance that without suffering loneliness?

Slowly, I am finding my way back. Damn this curse of intelligence. What is it I read somewhere?

One may bask at the warm fire of faith or choose to live in the bleak uncertainty of reason — but one cannot have both.

I recall the first time I read that... it resonated with me. It was like seeing the matrix again. Total clarity.

It also provided justification for being doomed to unhappiness. Just one problem...

I want to be happy.

So, how do I shed a few IQ points?

Of course, maybe I am overthinking everything again. Overthinking. Everything. Again.

Last month, I completed a life coaching session designed to make me live in my lower body. To think less. To act more. To be impulsive.

Yet, the absence of daily lessons has led me to think about everything. Again.

I can accept that I am wrong about everything. Even that I’ve always been wrong about everything. Acceptance only has value if I move past it. Again.

It is time to turn it off. To detoxify. To embrace the chaos. To drink more water.

What i'm listening to:

Heartbreaker
Dionne Warwick
Heartbreaker