When I was in high school, I excelled at the classes like math and science. In fact, the only challenge I got from my algebra and pre-calculus classes was finishing the test before a fellow classmate, and then waiting to see which of us made fewer errors (of which there was rarely more than a couple).

Yet, somehow I managed to graduate high school without completing a single formal writing assignment. You know, those 25-page papers you hear about through junior high and high school and dread the entire time. I don’t recall ever writing one.

Calculus was a bit more challenging. Derivatives, limits, integrals challenged me enough to the point I spent some quality time with my teacher... who, to this day, is one of my favorite teachers. He understood the math well enough to explain to us in terms we could understand and taught us how to do it the long way before showing us the shortcuts... and ultimately letting us use calculators. He was determined we grasp the concepts—something that my college professors did not care about. He wanted us to be able to work through any problem we encountered by giving us the ability to break it down.

So, in college, I fancied becoming an engineer. Now, I had some fantastic college professors as well... but my Calculus teacher was essentially pissed off at the world because she couldn’t get an engineering job. She opened the class with, “This is the calculator I’ll be using. If you don’t purchase the same one, you won’t be able to keep up.” In hindsight, maybe she worked for Texas Instruments.

While I did well at the science classes and struggled with my 7 a.m. Calculus classes, I had an epiphany. Math is essentially black and white. There is one (or occasionally more) answer, that’s it. You’re right or you’re wrong. Realizing that enabled me to excel at the writing and history classes I was taking at the time.

I reinvented myself. At that point, I was bored with math and science... so I switched gears. My fascination with writing and history grew. For a minute, I wanted to become a lawyer. Everything in the legal arena is interpretation. I devoured every book I could find about persuasion and winning arguments.

In Academia, reinventing yourself is easy. You meet with your mentor/advisor. You tell him/her what’s on your mind. You make the change. Sometimes you get a new mentor/advisor. You get a new class load. You take classes. You eventually graduate (hopefully).

Fast forward to my professional career. It is much more difficult to get “bored” and reinvent yourself. Having worked many years as a developer and programmer, I’m finding it challenging getting a new start using the design and marketing experience I’ve picked up over the years through osmosis.

I feel anyone who glances at my résumé is matching the experience to the job description using an algorithm—either consciously or unconsciously—not finding the match, and moving on without any other consideration.

I get it. There are many jobs out there, but there are many more people out there looking for them. Yes, I get that many of those people are more qualified than I, but I also realize that some of the more qualified people will not attack the job with the vigor and passion as I. So, how do I convey that in a résumé and cover letter?

That, my friends, is the next frontier. I want to step up my marketing game? It must start with me.

This. This is my year. I will reinvent. I will succeed. Stay tuned.

What i'm listening to:

Me or the Rumours
Deon Estus
Spell

It’s been a long journey in the wilderness, but I believe I’ve found myself AND the edge of the clearing.

However, it is super refreshing coming off my latest birthday and into the new year with some fresh attitudes and recent discoveries.

For one, I’ve discovered that over the last several years, I’ve managed to surround myself with broke-ass people. It’s so frustrating being the only person in my social circle who manages a budget and can go out and socialize virtually any time. I know not to get burned by an auto-draft. I know how to stretch the money over months and ensure all bills get paid, the dog gets fed, the car stays serviced, and still have enough left over to take care of... me.

However, it’s been trying on my spirits. No one I spend time with has any drive or ambition. So much that when they ask what my next big thing is, they either laugh or go silent.

You guys are my friends, and I love you, but you really need to step outside of your comfort zone. You might like it! Also, you’ll need to understand that I have to distance myself from those attitudes. In spite of you, I believe in myself again, and I believe I can return to the top of my game as a top performer by 2017’s end.

This phoenix shall rise again from the flames.

What i'm listening to:

A Day in the Life
The Beatles
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

A wise man once said, “In one year, you’ll be another year older. What else?”

It’s too true. We spend so much time dreaming about more, but do virtually nothing to actually get more.

And I see this in myself. I make promises, get motivated, then fall back into old behaviors. Every. Single. Time.

Not this time. This year is it. Be the change you want in the world...

I recall ten years ago, I was at one of the lowest points of my life. Not terribly social, nor successful, and largely friendless. I was just getting out and meeting people for the first time.

Then 2007 happened. I popped out of my shell into a wonderful world. I met a lot of people. I learned how to talk to girls. I discovered I was good with them. Very good.

I jump started the best three years of my life, and it was wonderful and unforgettable. Then ghosts of the past revisited, and they brought back old, comfortable and familiar patterns. Like houseguests, they settled in.

I hate seeing these old habits back in me. Old behaviors. Making excuses instead of finding a way to attain those dreams. No, attain those goals.

And now, it’s another birthday. It was a rough year in the wilderness, but it has shown me that it is time to act. To get my shit together. To speak less and do more. No excuses.

By my next birthday, I will be back on the top of my game. Look out!

This year is it. I want MORE, not less, and I’m willing to change to get it. I’m willing to invest to get it.

What i'm listening to:

Praying for Time
George Michael
Listen Without Prejudice, Vol. 1

Coffee shops. I used to love them. What changed?

I used to have remarkable clarity while curled up in a chair in a corner, with occasional breaks of people watching and tea drinking.

Today, I’ve been sitting in a coffee shop for the last hour. The MacBook battery isn’t what it used to be, so it’s nearly half depleted. And why?

I don’t know.

I don’t even recall what I intended to write while here. I know it was something about taking action. 2017 is shaping up to be fantastic, so I’ve been getting started early.

I love the winter. For me it’s always about new beginnings, new relationships, and sometimes renewal of long lost friends and relatives.

This year, the Grinch even stayed away!

I am super excited about what the new year will bring. I’ve rediscovered some direction, and I’m thrilled to stop working at a “job job,” for the sake of a paycheck and get back onto a career track. So ready to create again, and do what I love!

Finding what I was born to do, if you will.

Even if I must leave the coffee shops behind... at least the tea was delicious. I can get it to go.

What i'm listening to:

Back in the High Life Again
Steve Winwood
Back in the High Life

It is time.

The big question: can I take a huge leap of faith and find something I enjoy that’s more rewarding?

Read something today: If my job sucks any more, I’m going to orgasm. I laughed. Yes, it’s that bad.

Time to do something about it.

What i'm listening to:

Manic Depression
The Jimi Hendrix Experience
Are You Experienced?

Yesterday, I reached an impasse. I truly need to shit or get off the pot.

I’m on month eighteen of my journey through the wilderness on my career path. As such, I’ve been working a job outside of my interests and skills, as it allows me to exist through freelance droughts.

People ask how I like it. “Like” is not the word I would use to describe it. There are a couple of aspects of it I enjoy. I enjoy solving problems. I enjoy the technical writing that comes with it.

So, it’s only natural that I’m offered a lateral shift that takes both away from me. I’ll be shifting to a job of middle man, where I’ll be arguing with providers and talking with desperate clients that I’m not able to tell them what they want to hear.

All things happen for a reason, right? So, I can look at this as karma continuing to seek vengeance for the numerous terrible things I have done...

Or, I can look at this as the kick in the ass I need to find my way back to my career path.

I’m hoping for the latter... but one thing I’ve realized is on my journey is my greatest weakness: lack of awareness of my true strength.

To that end, the career search will shift to aggressive, and the job search will as well. A job is a job is a job. There are jobs out there, as evidenced by the dozen I’ve applied for in the last twelve hours. Any of them will sustain me while I figure out my strengths and find the trail back to my path.

Hang in there... there is hope. And, don’t feel guilty about leaving this job. They were never going to hire you for your talents anyway.