dilletantism, romanticism, charlatanism
I swear to God, I never fall in love
I never fall in love, but I can't get enough of itFirst off, I'm not sorry
I won't apologize to nobody
You play like I'm invisible
Girl, don't act like you ain't saw me
Is it bad that I want to see you?
my ex's best friend
Last night, you looked me in the eyes and said you wanted to dance.
Like a stripper. On GTA5.
Then...
You moved your arms above your head.
You undulated your hips back and forth.
You closed your eyes. And started softly humming stripper music.
One step, two steps closer.
You opened your eyes. And smiled.
And stopped. But why?
I fell in love again on Saturday.
She’s twenty-two. And witty. And brilliant. And beautiful. And perfect. I melt into those brown eyes. I can stare at the curves of her face for hours.
This.
This is my curse.
I fall in love with every girl I meet.
What happens next? We shall see.
Signed, the ever-optimistic romantic.
The Sounds of Silence
Pro tip: taking her cell phone is probably not the best way to get her attention.
I had a dream about you last night.
The contents of the dream are still a mystery to me—my dreamself is usually more confident than I, not the desperate type.
In the dream, I was waiting anxiously by the phone... wondering why you haven’t returned my message. Yet, next to me on the bed was your phone. With your apps. Your pictures (with and without your ex). Occasionally going off with calls/texts from your friends.
Of course you couldn’t return my message.
As the dream progressed, I eventually pick you up. We go in search of your missing cell phone. You’re using a borrowed tablet, and the “Find My” feature.
And I’m sweating bullets... because I really like you, yet I’m the jackass who took your phone. And I have no reasonable explanation for why.
Other than I wanted to see you.
I still do. And I won’t take your phone.
As today marks 800 days without Facebook—and now roughly a month without Snapchat nor Instagram—it seems appropriate to celebrate.
I am relying on phone numbers and text messaging again. I am enjoying meeting women in real life again. I am enjoying actual conversation.
I never understood the magic of Twitter. I’m clearly not their target audience. Nor TikTok. Too video, didn’t click.
Yet I have logged more than my fair share of minutes (hours?) in the Facebook. The Snapchat. The Insta.
Oddly, of those three. Instagram is the one I miss.
And it is the one of which I don’t even know many of whom I follow—even if it feels like I do.
Of course, a couple of disadvantages have appeared to not being on social media...
When a friend died last month, I didn’t find out about it until after her funeral... which I could have attended.
And those groups. A place where like-minded people can share and discuss. If only, one could avoid that news feed. And those incessant notifications.
Let’s not forget the chicken sandwich war.
As a friend pointed out to me on Friday morning, I could be using the Facebook as a way for the beautiful women I meet to find me.
This never dawned on me. I always knew I wasn’t their target audience either, but my privacy was always so locked down because of the people I DIDN’T want to find me.
Had I not been so... difficult... perhaps Jen might have looked me up there. Perhaps she did, only to find... nothing.
His suggestion: use LinkedIn for that purpose. LinkedIn is yet another social network I don’t use... I hadn’t logged in for over two years... but that may be a viable option.
It was there, where I found the nugget below: (shamelessly stolen, of course, but oh, so appropriate)
Never did I think I could do w/o this app. But, as with anything in life, things change.
What once connected the world, & brought business opportunity... has now become a place of division, righteousness, and some billionaire playing God w/ our content. This is no longer the app I knew & loved, & as w/ anything that does not serve my highest good—it had to go.
Do yourself a favor, delete yourself from the matrix. It may seem as if the world is falling apart. That a dystopian world of control is our destiny.
I lend you this reminder... WE are the ones with the power. WE are the ones with the numbers. WE are in control.
And though I cried remembering what this app means to me, and how it forever changed my life, I followed it with a smile, knowing this action, deleting this app... is being multiplied by millions across the globe.
Hello new world, hello great awakening, goodbye, and thank you, to Facebook.
Born Without a Heart
There’s something magical about sitting ON your car seat, as opposed to sitting IN your car seat.
Am I the only one that feels this way?
What is it about frozen foam anyway?
Break My Heart
I fell in love tonight.
Admittedly, that is not so unusual. When you’re surrounded by such beauty, you have a tendency to fall in love every night.
Tonight was no exception. Except...
There was a connection. Again, not so unusual. I’ve experienced amazing connections before.
Yet, I really didn’t know how to handle this one.
Jen was out on a date—guessing from the snippets of conversation overheard, a first date. Possibly even an app date.
As far as those kinds of dates go, and from what I observed, it didn’t necessarily go badly. I don’t think it’ll go anywhere, but I’ve been wrong about those too.
Yet I think I’ll see her again.
My question, however, is this: How does someone go about giving a girl his phone number when she’s clearly on a date?
And you’re the waiter? And he’s buying (i.e. leaving the tip)? How could I have handled this differently?
For what it’s worth, she did stop me to exchange names before they left—in separate vehicles. Yes, I think I’ll see her again. I certainly hope so...
Yet, I need to find a way to act in these moments, as many/most relationships don’t last forever. And she and I both deserve a beautiful experience with each other. And I cannot just let these opportunities keep slipping by.
Would I Lie to You?
But why?
Why do we hesitate?
Especially when we know what we have to do... ugh.
Doubt. Risk. Fear.
Much fear.
Of course, this doubt/risk/fear is for real. The decision to return to the land of renters from being a homeowner is kind of a big deal.
Yet, now is the time.
Amidst the land of fear, there is opportunity.
Much opportunity.
There is a life to be lived. There are women to meet—and fall in love with. There are places to go.
The wanderlust is strong.
Still.
I have a realtor who is more than eager to help.
Why do I hesitate?
Consider:
- if the risks you’re taking don’t pan out;
- if your expectations aren’t met;
- if you find yourself let down;
- if you put everything on the line and lose it;
what WOULDN’T you lose? What can never be taken away from you?
Seems one of two things happen after a good night at the bar:
My Amazon package arrives Thursday.