Oh, life…

Why are we here? What purpose does it serve?

Is it enough to become the arousing man who doesn’t count? To have all of the ladies?

Or maybe we’re just here to exchange oxygen for carbon dioxide… for the plants?

Maybe most of us are here to simply learn… failure.

Or maybe I’m just wrong. And I always have been. How would I ever know? If I once thought I was right… what if I was… wrong?

Maybe I have become my sister’s brother.

I’m not writing. I’m not working. I’m not eating. I am sleeping a lot. And I get most of my nutrition from spirits.

O hai, Melissa.

And I am chatting with women who may—or may not—have my best interests at heart.

Thanks, sis. I may never trust again.

This downward spiral. Accelerating since the incident. Decisions made… based on emotions.

Sure, Amy wants to see me… indeed, she wants me in her life. Yet, she’s not my girl.

Then there’s Aryn. Also, wants to see me. Wants me in her life. Yet, she’s found a sugar daddy… I cannot even compete. Who knows where this will go?

Michelle? Are you for real? You may be my girl.

If only, you’re for real.

And Ellen? I am convinced you are only looking for a sugar daddy…

At this point in my life, I am not your boy. Thanks for the titty pics though.

Decisions. Based on emotion. Not intelligence.

When will this end?

Will it?

One good thing may have come from Michelle… (she is definitely a brat!). And that is discovering I do long for companionship.

Will this come from many companions? Along the journey? Where do I even want to be?

Do I even want to be?

Hmm.

Perhaps, it is time to switch off the television. To find out what happens with the new jobs I’m applying for. To discover if “the incident” will necessitate a move. Amy wants me there. Michelle says she’ll follow me anywhere.

Maybe it’s time to learn a musical instrument? Are there even pawn shops here? Instrumental shops?

What’s next? Let’s find out.