Made the wrong move tonight...

Guess I really am my own worst enemy.

So, I have a less than modest home, with less than modest square footage, and a modest house payment.

Four years ago, a nasty hail storm comes through... nasty enough, in fact, that it prompts my insurance company to send me a letter to get it fixed. If I don’t get it fixed within a year, it’ll affect my coverage.

Nine months later, I’ve managed to budget my deductible. I find a roofing company, get the roof done, and turn it in to the insurance company.

Turns out, the roofer and the insurance company have a disagreement about how much that new roof cost. A $1,500 disagreement about how much that new roof cost.

So, I end up nose-diving into debt to find an extra $1,500 to cover my roof shortage. Fine, that’s done... right?

Three years ago, my home premium renewal arrives. Only, because there was a claim my premium went up, I believe, about 85%... almost double.

Okay, I’ve learned my lesson. No more claims. New insurance company. I manage to find a quote that brings my premium down to around the level I was paying.

Oh joy! Rapture! I’m not going to lose my house over the escrow shortage!

Fast forward three years. No claims. Seeing loyalty discounts for being a “good customer.”

And today, a letter from my mortgage company arrives. It warned me of an upcoming payment bump to cover my escrow shortage. How much? It didn’t say... it only used the word significant.

So, I look for a notice of my premium renewal. No notice has been sent yet, but it HAS posted on the insurance company’s website.

118%

Significant? Holy shit, that’s significant. That’s lose my house significant!

So, I don’t make claims... can’t afford to, really... and my insurance still more than doubles.

How bad is it? When I called, the insurance company advised me to shop for cheaper insurance. They say it’s because of my credit. Astonishing, because my credit is loads better than it was when I shopped for insurance three years ago.

They can’t do anything for me. Well, shit. If I cannot find cheaper insurance, I guess the bank just inherited itself a house.

Seriously, I’d be better off just flushing that money down the toilet. I know it’s all about risk, and the house always wins, but my insurance premiums over thirty years will come to about 80% of my house principle... and takes so much to cover there cannot be any improvements to the home. There’s just no money left.

So, by then the home might be worth a cool $3,000... adjusting for inflation, of course.

Fuck insurance.

The past few years have been a genuine struggle. I’m certain a large part of it I’ve brought on myself, but it’s become tiresome nonetheless.

I’ve been just trying to keep it together while falling apart.

It’s time to fix what’s wrong with my life. It’s time to get away from the vampires... and to slay the vampire within.

More than ever, I’m convinced that vampires are real. No, I don’t necessarily believe in the blood sucking fiends from beyond the grave, but vampires definitely exist.

Vampires that suck energy and life-force from me.

I’m working to improve myself and my life quality again, and in doing so, I’m become increasingly aware of my surroundings. And aware of the people around me who are there solely to drain me down to their level.

People who hate everything. People who complain about everything. People who are blameless in everything. People who are victims in everything. People who do nothing to improve him or herself, because there is nothing to improve. Special snowflakes.

People who think the world must change to suit them, yet don’t realize the change begins with them.

I know them well, because in many ways I’m still this person... this vampire. I’d slain him before. Even though I’m afraid he’s stronger this time, I can slay him again. I must.

I must change. I can feel the flame of passion reigniting within me. I want to live life again... rather than letting life live me.

I must escape the vampires. I must stop letting the vampires surround me. I must slay the vampire that has grown within me.

I must own my own energy again.

I must do this.

What i'm listening to:

Wanted
White Town
Women in Technology