Well now, that was certainly interesting.

Last night, on my drive home from shopping, I was in a four-car pile up. First time for me.

Traffic was backed up, I stop, check my mirror and see the car behind me stop, so I look down.

Then, bam!

The car behind the Jetta behind me didn't get stopped.

The girl driving the Jetta looked like she was ready to hit someone. Her car got the worst of it, because it went under mine.

I was just thankful no one was hurt and no airbags went off. Of the four cars, the Jetta is in pretty bad shape (but drivable), then mine, then the guy in the rear. The guy in front of me just got tapped... there wasn't even any visible damage to his car.

My back bumper can probably be buffed off for now, but I have a feeling that the stress will make the paint fall off in the not-too-distant future.

I felt so bad for the girl behind me though. She'd just left the shop with her car, ironically because her brake lights hadn't been working.

She was sooo cute too! It really helped pass the time chatting with her and her friend.

I had to ask about her Jetta, since I still want one pretty bad... she joked and offerred hers to me there. Then she said she loves it. She said it's been nothing but bad luck since she moved here from Georgia, first hitting a deer, then the brake lights, now this.

At least this one will be covered by someone else's insurance. I'm happy her brake lights were fixed, otherwise the pile up could have been much, much worse.

I wanted to ask for her phone number, but I started thinking about how inappropriate it might be... is that silly? I mean, we were clearly enjoying each other's company...

She had the most amazing brown eyes.

Oh well, there are sooo many women out there... and who knows, perhaps I'll see her again.

What i'm listening to:

Street of Dreams
Nia Peeples
Nia Peeples

So, today's the day.

I'll admit, I would love to have a new iPhone. They're sexy, sleek, and probably worth the wait!

However, I'm far too happy with T-Mobile to dump my plan for the plan I would have to by from at&t for this new phone. I've also heard some rumors that certain levels of the plan are required to activate certain features of the phone.

Like the iPod.

I'll be curious to see how many of the rumors are true... and how many never were. It would *almost* be cool to have an iPhone with no service just to have the fancy new iPod.

Almost.

And it is that kind of thinking that leaves me content to just wait for the sixth generation iPod. I was hoping against hope that it would be announced this June, but after thinking about that, why would Apple skunk their iPhone sales by releasing the next super cool iPod?

That would be a bad marketing move.

My fear is that there won't be anymore iPods, and that Apple will continue to share the bed with at&t, and that will be that.

But that's just stupid, isn't it. Of course there will be more iPods... maybe they'll have the internet feature and able to use Wi-Fi... personally, I'm cool with just the music feature with the album flipper.

And it would be nice to be able to watch an occasional movie... since I do travel a bit.

Anyway, hope everyone enjoys their iPhones. I'll just post up here and wait for the next iPod!

What i'm listening to:

Judas
Kelly Clarkson
My December

It's amazing how stubborn people can be. There's one part of human nature that just fascinates me... because it just seems so incredibly stupid.

Yet, I don't have much room to talk. I'm just as guilty of it as everyone else. However, I think recognizing it has truly helped me to grow, and will help me move past it.

Have you ever noticed what people do when something isn't working? They keep doing what they were doing all along... they just do it harder.

It makes as much sense as realizing the square peg doesn't fit in the round hole, so you just try to cram it in harder.

Of course, not every change is as simple as merely finding the square hole for the square peg. Or is it?

What is it about change that makes us resist it?

Think about this. You're driving through town to the grocery store. As you're cruising down the street, you notice that the city has set up a work zone down the road. So, you simply take a different route. Chances are you can come up with about five different routes to the same store on the fly, but chances are you also mumbled a couple of curse words under your breath because you had to change your routine.

Ok, that one was easy.

Now think about this one. You get up in the morning, dreading facing another day. You work for a company that doesn't appreciate you and no longer offers incentives for you to even come in to work. There's no hope for promotions, raises, new challenges or opportunities. It's just a job, but it clearly isn't working for you anymore.

So, what do you do? Keep doing your job, just do it harder... because someday your employer is going to realize what an asset you are and give you those rewards you've been waiting for for so long.

Bullshit!

But this requires significant change. It requires a different mindset, a change in the way we think, a different way of approaching life.

However, I believe it can be done. All a person needs to do is take some time, figure out what is really important to her/him, and then figure out what they need to do to get there. Maybe it is time to find a job that challenges you. Maybe you just need to network more. Maybe you need to figure out just what it is that holds your loyalty to your job. Step outside the box and ask yourself if what you are doing is working.

You have to take the time and do the work and perform the research and listen to the mentors that will help you get there. You can achieve your dreams... all of them.

To quote Fran Tarkenton, "Winning means being unafraid to lose." I've mentioned previously that I believe that in being afraid to fail, most people are really afraid to succeed.

Even if you have to take baby steps at first, write down your goals in life, map ways to get there, act towards them everyday (even if it's just a little), and hold yourself accountable.

Stop thinking about it. Do something. A little action... you can do it.

I can do it.

What i'm listening to:

(No More) What Ifs
Natasha Bedingfield
NB

I guess there are ways to find out who your friends really are.

Really, the advent of Caller ID has changed a lot for identifying those "true friends."

Of course, I was jaded before. I've hated phones for a while. I'm not good on the phone... I guess you could say my charm and charisma doesn't come through on the phone. I suppose taking the time to record my voice and working on my "voice acting" would help.

I hate having a phone, because it always rings at the most inopportune times. Of course, now with Caller ID, I don't have to answer it... and lately, I don't even look at that. Because no one I know ever calls.

I'm not exactly sure why I seem to repel my "friends." Maybe I've forgotten how to make real friends since high school.

I know I alienated all of my friends from high school when I was dating "S"... which unfortunately included my best female friends I've ever had. I've been unable to make many girl friends since, which sucks.

Then, there were the break ups. Everyone takes the easy way out and breaks up on the phone. "C" even tried to break up via email... but I had called her before I saw the note.

Oh well, this isn't about them... I'm better off without them and I know that now!

Anyway, yesterday, I called "R" because she told me to call her the next time I was in town. Even though she always seemed really interested, I guess at that moment, she wasn't.

It rang, and rang, and I got voice mail. She's not interested.

Woman games. Bleah!

So, considering that was a bust, I decided to call a friend who was throwing a party last night. Rang twice, and went to voice mail in mid-ring... rejected.

Nice!

Ok, I can take a hint and I know when I'm not wanted.

Time to get out and meet new people and make new friends!

As for the women? Well, for the time being it is time to just work on the "quick kills." The phone doesn't even need to come into play!

What i'm listening to:

Joey
Concrete Blonde
Bloodletting

I love pancakes.

Honestly, I do... almost as much as sex! Almost...

There's just something about getting up in the morning, mixing up some Hungry Jack pancake mix, or Krusteaz, or whatever (or even better, making from some recipe), cooking them to golden perfection on a hot griddle, slathering them with real softened butter (not margarine, mind you!), and topping it off with Golden Griddle syrup.

Or, if you're feeling uber-adventurous, the fruit syrups from Knott's Berry Farm are quite tasty too!

Of course, the pancakes make a fine and filling breakfast by themselves, but they're even better as a complement to bacon (crisp, but not too crispy) and eggs (wreck 'em!)...

The smell of bacon takes me back to my early childhood. Every morning, in my grandfather's house, he would wake up at 6:30 and start cooking breakfast: bacon, eggs and sausage, and start the coffee pot. With those wonderful aromas permeating the house, it was hard not to get up.

Besides, there were cartoons to be watched! Jonny Quest, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Popeye and Woody Woodpecker... if memory serves.

And, once in a while on the weekends, my mom would make pancakes. Yummy!

What i'm listening to:

'65 Love Affair
Paul Davis
Cool Night

Via Boing Boing

In the early personal computer days, recording artists included hidden computer programs on vinyl records -- you recorded the LP to tape, then put the tape in your computer's cassette drive. Here's a nice history of the practice, with screenshots of the programs in action and links to emulated versions.

Now, I remember all the buzz about subliminal messages hidden in rock music, as well as playing music backwards. I think I was in high school the first time I had heard about the big "Paul is dead" conspiracy surrounding the Beatles... which fascinated me to no end.

Also, when I was in high school, my family couldn't afford the coveted Apple // computer system I wanted sooo bad, but they did the best they could... so I had a Radio Shack TRS-80. It wasn't much, but it did keep me entertained and taught me the basics of computer programming.

Who would have guessed the day would come that I wish I didn't know half of what I do about that... but I digress.

Anyway, my computer was hooked up to a standard tape-recorder... actually a pretty fancy one made by RCA... and all of the programs were then stored on the tape. To load a program, I had to play the tape and wait for the program I wanted to come up on the screen.

This is the same technology described in the article, however, unlike today's "enhanced CDs," there were many different platforms, all which read data and interpreted programs differently. The Apple // wouldn't read a program intended for a Tandy, or a Commodore 64, or a Amiga.

These were intended for the Sinclair Spectrum, which until today I'd never heard of... so it's a safe bet that my TRS-80 or Apple // (which I do now have a IIgs I picked up on eBay for $25) wouldn't be able to see nor interpret this vinyl easter egg.

Too bad.

What i'm listening to:

I'll Wait
Van Halen
1984

Last weekend was the weekend for exhuming the "time capsule car" in Tulsa, OK. I'm sure it was a fun event, and I had planned on attending, but things don't always work out the way we hope.

Which is probably for the better. Anyway, the internet coverage is fantastic... from this Flickr Gallery to the blogosphere... and if they had found an ancestor of Paris Hilton in the car, it might actually get some news coverage! Yes, that's a joke (people don't seem to be getting my attempts at humor these days... which is odd).

I think realistically, everyone suspected that the car wouldn't make it. I'm not sure we have the technology today to create a concrete vault that can contain a car for preservation and be buried without becoming compromised.

However, I was hoping that the car would be salvageable, even pristine. As I'd indicated last winter, I've always wanted a '57 Plymouth... at least since reading Christine. Demonic car aside, I always thought they were cool looking, yet rarer than their Chevrolet/Ford counterparts... which adds to the appeal for me.

Even as a rusty hulk, the photos I've seen of the car are pretty impressive. If I were the lucky recipient of it, I'm not sure what I'd do with it.

I had to get a laugh out of one of the film reels preserved in the capsule... Destination Earth, in which "Martian dissidents learn that oil and competition are the two things that make America great."

It's kind of funny, because these people fifty years ago had no idea we would still be dependent on oil. They even included a can of regular leaded gasoline in the vault so it could be used to start the car... in the event we no longer used gasoline.

Incredible foresight from an optimistic society. It truly would have been something to be a part of! Hopefully the new owner will opt to put it in a museum so generations can look at it for generations to come... hopefully above ground, it can be kept in an environment that won't further contribute to its deterioration.

What i'm listening to:

My Best Friend's Girl
The Cars
The Cars

otherwise I'd be glad to... I'm prone towards sternness, facially. Um, there's some anecdotal evidence to suggest that, uh, a smile isn't simply inside-out conduct, that the inverse is applicable as well. I smile because I'm happy, I'm happy because I smile.

One thing I've been working on that has been difficult for me is my smile.

I've been told I have a nice smile, but I suppose I've always been self-conscious about it. Because of that, I have a tough time letting go and letting out a genuine smile.

In fact, I don't know if I'm even still capable of it. Whenever the urge to smile comes, it triggers something that makes me think about it. When I think about it, I try to control it... and the result is, well...

D says it looks like I'm grimacing.

So, that's my smile... it looks like I'm using new and improved Joker products.

I guess I'm in need of some smile therapy.

I wonder what it is that makes children so self conscious of their smiles? My nephew exhibits the same "fake smile" as I do. Recently, when my sister was shooting pictures of our niece and nephews, my nephew would put on this cheesy, fake, closed-mouth smile.

And my brother-in-law made fun of it... is that what traumatizes kids into hiding their smiles? People make fun of our smiles?

I want to be one of those people who have that natural smile... and it just comes out all of the time.

Perhaps I'm still too uptight. Perhaps...

But I am working on it. Perhaps someday soon I'll find my inner smile and let it out. =^)

What i'm listening to:

I Don't Care
Shakespear's Sister
Hormonally Yours

Oddly, today I'm feeling refreshed, refocused, rebalanced.

Maybe I'm becoming bipolar? Maybe I've always been bipolar...

Meh.

Anyway, I think it's strange I'm feeling refreshed because I've been battling insomnia. Lately, it's been bad, offering between a half-hour to two hours of sleep a night.

However, I've been using the extra time with some spring cleaning, rearranging furniture and moving things into and out of storage, and of course, I'm staying current on my homework.

And, I've managed to watch a few DVDs that had been content to remain untouched in my collection. Last night, I watched 50 First Dates and it was better than I expected it would be. I guess I don't have a lot of faith in Hollywood these days, because they keep cranking out terrible, CGI-filled, action blockbusters. It is nice to see they still know how to produce a decent romantic comedy that manages to tug at the heart strings a little.

Not that I'd know anything about that. ;^)

It's a bit disconcerting that I wasn't able to fall asleep easily last night. I managed to get in a 3.2 mile run (only one hot woman at the gym... ok, maybe two), banged out a paper about when the Mongols ruled China. I did take a twenty minute nap immediately after work, but seriously, if twenty minutes fulfilled my sleep requirements to not sleep for the next 12 hours, then perhaps I shouldn't sleep at night at all... not more than twenty minutes at a time.

Hmmm... that might be an experiment worth trying... ;^)

I've always found it odd that I get my best sleep in the early evening and the mid morning. Sleeping in any other timeframes just doesn't seem to have the same effect.

It could also have something to do with the fact I do my best thinking at night... and frequently end up with a lot of brilliant ideas in my mind, that my murky morning mind just can't seem to act on.

Even if I write them down. It's sad, really... something else to work on, but I don't know how many changes at a time I can work on and actually expect them to stick.

There were a lot of evenings I had figured out exactly how I was going to end my last relationship... because I wasn't happy... but the next morning, my murky mind convinced me that I was happy and the brilliant ideas of the night before just faded away.

What i'm listening to:

Drive
The Cars
Heartbeat City