I always thought the story of Echo and Narcissus went something like this:

Narcissus was a vain young man, who was in love with himself.

Echo was a shy young lady who was unable to say anything... except to repeat what others have said.

Echo fell in love with Narcissus, but was totally unable to tell him how she felt. So, she faded away into an echo.

As punishment, the gods forced Narcissus to fall for the reflection of his own image in the pond... where he would eventually waste away.

I know my memory has futzed this myth up since the seventh grade, but after doing some research it appears i'm not terribly far off from what is written.

There are some variations of the story, and if i continue looking i may even find one that shows my memory to be more accurate than i realize.

I've been researching narcissism, because i need to understand my enemy. If i am going to control my narcissistic tendencies, i need to become aware of if and when i am being too self-involved.

Apparently, Freud believed that narcissism is part of us when we are born. I suppose that makes sense, because when we are so young and helpless all we can do is want... and our world of awareness doesn't really expand beyond our bodies.

Admittedly, i'm not overly concerned with the world around me. Some of that is the "drama queen" that lives inside me. Other parts revolve around the society we live in where it is each man/woman for him/herself. I have to look out for number one.

If i'm going to start sharing myself in relationships with others... whether they be friends or lovers... i need to be aware of Narcissus inside of me and actually learn to be interested in others. I need to realize that others are just as important as i am.

And actually, i do realize other people are just as important. Granted, they are probably living in their own narcissistic little worlds as well, but i need to be ready for when i meet that special someone who wants to make me just as happy as i want to make her.

While on that subject, i think i figured out something in the aftermath of Wednesday's disaster. I'm definitely ready to date again... because i've made the decision that i don't want to. Right now i crave companionship and friendship. I need to re-learn how to be social... maybe even pick up some new skills. However, dating someone is totally out of the question.

Fulfilling the mission, however, is not. =^)

Awareness will be the key... as they say, "Knowing is half the battle." As long as i am aware of if/when i'm being selfish, boring, or otherwise too self-involved... maybe i'll be able to exercise spin control and save the situation.

What i'm listening to:

What the Hell (I Love This Girl...
Cameron McGill
Stories of the Knife and the Back