dilletantism, romanticism, charlatanism
Ad: Ask your doctor if [insert random drug name here] is right for you.
Me: Asks about random drug.
Doctor: I need you to quit watching television.
Alone Again (Naturally)
Prepare to be shocked. I know I was.
I am not a narcissist. Many days I wish I was. Life might be so much easier.
Believe me, I’ve tried. There may have even been moments I believed I was narcissistic. The center of the simulation.
Plus, I’ve enjoyed making fun of narcissists. Like fat kids, it’s okay, because I am one. I even have the t-shirt.
As time marches on, though, too many things in my life just don’t add up.
Being around narcissists drains me. I am still working on my own evolution. I want to be more social. I want to surround myself with good people. Healthy people.
The beautiful ones.
And I’m making great strides in this arena. In fact, this is how I’ve discovered that being social and around people is NOT what’s draining me. Only certain people. Perhaps it is appropriate to refer to them as the vampires. Only because I have referred to them before...
Also, I know plenty of narcissists. Some are extremely manipulative. These are the people that replace your hopes and dreams with their own.
Being around these “friends” is one reason why I struggle to figure out what I want. Why I struggle to take care of myself.
It is hard to work on yourself and determine what you want when you’re busy working on what others expect from you. It is time to stop concentrating on others’ obligations and demands.
Remember: YOU are the only one who has your best interests at heart.
Everyone has an agenda, including me. This is how we get through life. How we learn. How we adapt. How we evolve.
Letting other people determine and control your life is a way to get stuck. Again, they rarely (if ever) consider anyone else’s needs, wants, plans above their own.
Granted, some of these people we cannot easily escape. Bosses, family, friends. Or can we?
No, this is not me. I am not a narcissist.
The Show Must Go On
(Apparently they don’t teach this everywhere.)
When the light turns green, pull straight ahead into the intersection, one to one and a half car lengths, depending on the size of the intersection. Keep the wheels pointed straight ahead—just in case you’re rear-ended, so you’re not pushed into the oncoming traffic lane.
As soon as there is a five second break in oncoming traffic, complete your turn.
It really is that simple.
Cruel Summer
So, how do you deal with the takers in your life? Or the matchers?
What is it about people, anyway? I don’t recall where I first heard/read it, but there’s some truth to the old chestnut, “Life would be better without (other) people.”
Although, it may be incredibly boring.
Anyway, back to those takers... I get that people are hard wired to want, want, want. Plus, it only gets worse when their needs are met. There’s always a another mark. Always someone to take advantage of.
I suppose this provides givers with their station in life.
Yet even givers value their friendships. And good friendships are hard to find. Perhaps introverted givers have an even harder time.
I do not know how to manage friendship with someone I can always count on, yet rarely need favors from, and who consistently and persistently need something. Little things here. Little things there. Always small enough to barely detect the hint of manipulation.
Yet exhausting nonetheless.
How do I deal?
Perhaps life would be so much easier without other people...
We Just Disagree
I’ve been on a weight-loss journey over the last five months. It’s been a learning experience—some good, some bad. However, I feel like I’m finally getting to know my body for the first time in my life.
If only I could pass this knowledge onto my younger self. If only.
A former co-worker of mine explained to me a long, long time ago that, while food is something to be enjoyed, it is also essentially fuel. To that end, it makes sense to split my diet.
Yes, I can enjoy food everyday. I can gain weight, embrace my inner fat kid, and dance with the diabetes. Everyday. Sadly, I know too many people doing this.
Or, I can consider what I’ve got going on. I can plan my meals.
Will I be visiting my mom? Then I know there will be cinnamon rolls and Indian fried bread... and other goodies.
Do I have a date? Then I’ll plan on splurging on that piece of cheesecake or a butterscotch sundae with toasted pecans.
Am I going somewhere I’ve never been? Well, It’d be a crime to not sample the local cuisine.
Yet, for those days when I’m working, working out, or just doing routine things—those are the opportunities to think of food as fuel. Allot myself a certain budget of carbs, fat, and proteins, and stick to it.
Yes, seasoned grilled chicken on a bed of spinach can get somewhat boring... but there might just be something to making food less of a “something to look forward to” thing.
And, of course, moderation is key.
At this moment, I’m in a good place. I weigh under 150 pounds for the first time since middle school. I’ve developed a gym routine that I’ve managed to stick to for six weeks and counting. I’m continuing to see results.
I may even argue that I’m in the best shape of my life!
And the ladies are noticing. I see your looks when I’m shopping in Target, beautiful. Yes, I do.
Getting here was a challenge, yet not quite the challenge I expected. A good friend of mine is a diet coach, and a great accountabilibuddy. While dropping weight, I tracked inches and pounds, emailed her daily updates, and followed her mantra: Diets don’t fail. We fail our diets.
Once again for those sitting in the back row.
Diets don’t fail us. We fail our diets.
Diets work, but we have to embrace them as a lifestyle change. We have to make healthy decisions. We have to remember there are always consequences to our decisions. Always.
Our current social climate would like to think this is not true. Sometimes, people are foolish. Maybe most of the time. But I digress.
To drop the weight, I adhered to a pretty severe food list. I subscribed to a vitamin delivery plan. And I saw results. Every day. Every. Single. Day.
(Except for a few. Ask me about the French fry.)
Everyone I know started to see the results. And they ask what I’m doing. I tell them, and they reply with the usual chestnut, “Oh, I couldn’t keep doing that.”
Yes, yes you can. Again, you have to remember—the diet won’t fail you. Just don’t fail the diet. (Again, someday I’ll mention the French fry.)
So, I completed twenty-one days of low fat, low carb dieting; followed by twenty-one days of textbook keto, the latter with the goal of equalizing—minimizing losing or gaining. As a result, I’m thirty pounds lighter than I was last October. I look great. I feel great. I can eat more-or-less whatever I want.
More-or-less. Moderation is the key. Plus, the beauty of losing ⅙ of your size is, your appetite shrinks as well.
When I splurge, the small butterscotch sundae is sufficient. A quarter pound burger, or better, even less. One Pepsi a week? I got this.
I don’t need society’s portion sizes. In fact, I’m more and more shocked at society’s addiction to MOAR FOOD!
It’s no wonder the general public as a whole is getting fatter. And getting butt hurt about it. Seriously, it’s not about fat-shaming... I want to see you healthy.
A change in diet will go a long way. For everyone.
Otherwise, only the chosen few will survive.
It is the fifth of May.
And I am out of quetila.
What kind of savage am I?