Friday, February 24, 2017, 12:24 pm

Cult of CrossFit—and why it may save us all

Today, a friend of mine posted a funny comic on the Facebook. It featured a man and woman stuck in an elevator. The guy is being smooth and suggesting they may as well get to know each other. The woman responds by telling him about CrossFit, and the last panel features the guy banging on the doors shouting for help.

Hilarious, because it’s true!

I have a few friends who CrossFit, and every single one of them absolutely loves it. And for good reason... every single one of them looks fantastic! However, the way they talk about it is not unlike when the Mormon boys or Jehovah’s Witness girls catch you at the edge of your porch as your trying to leave the house to run errands. They love it so much, they cannot wait to share it with the world... and with a religious fervor.

This is not a bad thing.

None of it, actually. The Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses possess a passion and a drive more than most of us will ever know. Whether you observe your faith or not, can you think of anything that drives you to the point you cannot wait to share it with everyone?

Then there’s the CrossFit people. My god, they look good! And CrossFit is work... I mean, actual WORK. There is nothing easy about it. But unlike any other program I’ve ever seen, they keep working. It’s hard work, and they LOVE it!

And have I mentioned how great they look?

CrossFit has stoked a fire in these people to be healthy, and it’s working.

Now, I haven’t participated in one of these workouts. I’ve been invited, and I’ve been told it’s a total shit-show and like going through hell. I, like most of us, think about that and haven’t convinced myself to join a club... yet.

And then there’s the financial commitment. But ignoring that for this moment...

Consider how many of us have joined a gym. How many of us have even hired trainers? How far do we get? Some of us, like myself, get to a target weight, exhibit reasonable gains, and find a level of happiness of where we’re at. Then either complacency sets in, or some change that strips the gym from the equation. Before we know it, it’s a month later and we’re lying on the sofa with an open carton of Do-Si-Do’s, washing them down with root beer and binge watching the entire run of Sanford & Son.

I do NOT see this happening with CrossFitters. Ever.

Maybe I’m wrong, but there are a LOT of overweight and undernourished people out there. A lot of unhealthy people out there. A lot who my last trainer would call “skinny fat.” A lot of unhappy people out there.

And then there’s the group that’s so unhappy with society’s treatment of fat people they try to convince us that fat people are beautiful, making the right choices, and are entitled to keep on keeping on. But that’s another argument that’s already been made somewhere else.

Every CrossFitter I know appears happy... deliriously happy. Almost in that “O” face or an “I drank the Kool-Aid” way. And they keep getting more and more cut.

Seriously, they look incredible.

Now I find I’m thinking it may be time to join up. At one time, I was close to getting a six-pack and thought that was the dream. So, what am I craving now? An adonis belt.

Plus, if it’s truly about nutrition and regular exercise, why not?

It’s never too late, is it?

What i'm listening to:
Shock Shame
The Motels
Shock