Thursday, March 20, 2008, 1:09 pm

Cravings...

How do I deal with these cravings?

What's frustrating about them, is that I clearly don't need food. It feels like I eat in an attempt to fill this emptiness. Some void within me that can only be filled by Twinkies or cupcakes.

There was this Boston Market commercial several years ago that comes to mind when I think of eating to fill an emptiness. I can't find the commercial on YouTube, so I might have to dig out the tape it's on and digitize it.

Anyway, back to my frustration. My mind is set on having something sweet, and on me continuing to put food in my mouth. I can eat apples, bananas, and other things that are good for me, but the cravings don't go away. I can eat huge portions of BBQ, potato salad and baked beans, and even when my stomach hits the bursting point... the cravings don't go away.

So, what does this mean? I hate that everytime I weigh myself, I'm at the heaviest point of the last 18 months. Yes, I'm working out again, but the cravings don't go away.

Neither does the roll around my middle. How much longer can I get away with this before the fat rolls come back on my arms, my legs, my bum?

Thanks to the workouts, the arms, legs and bum are somewhat sculpted... for the first time ever. That would make me happy if my stomach wasn't going the other direction.

Back to the fat pants... waiting patiently for me in a box in the basement.

Perhaps, my life is unfulfilling, so my over-active, over-analytical mind is craving food to give itself something to do?

So, how to I fix my "psycho"-logy? How do I squash these cravings?

What i'm listening to:
The Black Album 99 Problems
Jay-Z
The Black Album
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