Tonight I let the darkness consume me.

It felt so good.

Sometimes, we need to give in to the darkness. We need to allow the primal urges to thrive. We need an outlet.

In spite of what society tries to tell us, we need the dark side. We need anger. We need passion. Sometimes, we even need an emotional breakdown.

Lately, I find myself thinking about love a bit. While I’m on my “Development Detour,” I’m pledged not to fall in love.

But, of course, if you find you’re telling yourself not to fall in love... it may just be too late.

She’s everything you dream about. But don’t fall in love.

For the past week, I’ve been road tripping. I love road trips! I tend to find remarkable clarity and focus with a bit of windshield therapy. I love revisiting places, and discovering new ones. I love getting out, meeting locals, perhaps even seducing one (or two).

Yet, so far this trip has been... um... unfulfilling.

I’m not finding clarity. I find my thoughts drift back to her.

Your eyes could steal the sailor from the sea.

What is it about her? I’m really not ready for anything like this. I’m still in the wilderness. I’m still finding my way. I’m still figuring things out.

Am I?

Perhaps not. I’m being lazy.

I continuously return to these thoughts: no one else has to work hard. Why should I have to work hard?

This, my friends, is the struggle. In order to ascend... in order to find enlightenment... in order to become a top performer... to crack the top 5%... I have to work on myself.

Every. Single. Day.

I love you, you’re so religious. I get a thrill when the curtain calls. I feel like a Roman candle. Do your stuff while the empire falls.

I want this girl. I’ve reached a point in my life where I can have her. I deserve beautiful women in my life. I accept that.

You burn and burn to get under my skin. You’ve gone too far, now I won’t give in.

It’s time. No more bullshit. It’s time to escape this hell within my head. It’s time to escape this bitch who’s in my bed. It’s time to fascinate. It’s time to shine.

It’s time for this late night rambling to end. It’s time to get back behind that windshield, find that clarity, and act.

I see a vision of how it could be, yeah. Be my fantasy.

What i'm listening to:

Fantasy Girl
.38 Special
Wild Eyed Southern Boys