Friday, December 22, 2006, 10:42 am

Just walking away...

What happened last night was a fluke... i'm not going to let it bother me too much. In a way, i'm sad i let it get to me at all.

However, i think it is interesting that T is the one i miss... not C. I think i realized that a while ago... but never really acknowledged it.

Like i said, not going to let it bother me.

Besides, i cannot turn a blind eye to how much my life has improved over the last year! Sometimes, a devastated broken heart can do you miracles.

And now, i'm really, really looking forward to '07. I've had my "rebuilding" year, now it's time to put what i've built to good use!

So much has changed... or maybe improved is a better word. I'll admit some things haven't changed at all. I'm still a list-maker. I have a list of what i'm looking for in Ms. Right... as well as Ms. Right Now. I have a list of accomplishment since the "before time," and i have a list of goals for 2007. The latter is something i've never really done before... writing down my goals.

So, i guess now i can hold myself accountable for what i do and don't do before my next birthday.

And to be honest, some of the things on the list i really have no idea how to accomplish... but i'm pretty confident i'll figure it out.

Maybe someday soon i'll post the list here. It'd be interesting to see if anyone comments on the items on it... or what the comments might be.

Of course, everyone who reads this (all 14 of you) is too shy to leave a comment. Or maybe you're just not moved to do so. I suppose that's fair.

What i'm listening to:
Declare a New State! Peace & Hate
The Submarines
Declare a New State!

Friday, December 22, 2006, 1:02 am

Relapse

Tonight... started out pretty good.

And ended... well, i don't know exactly where it ended.

I'm home... alone... and posting a blog entry instead of rolling in the sheets with some sensational freckled brunette... so, i suppose it's not ending good.

I talked to the ex's brother for a bit tonight. Things are good in his life... but as usual, his sister came up in the conversation.

That's never good. Don't get me wrong, i enjoy talking with him... but when i talk about her, then i think about her.

Then i crawled from pub to pub.

The last pub i stopped at had a few people i recognized from the theatre crowd.

Which made me think of T.

Without a doubt, T was the most amazing woman i have ever met in my life. Yes, even moreso than C. She was everything i could ever hope for in a partner. I only hope someday i can find someone who made me feel the way T did.

Then, on the drive home... i noticed at least five police cars in T2's neighborhood. I really hope she's ok, because i know that her boyfriend isn't anyone i'd recommend anyone date. She deserves so much better... but then, so do a lot of other people.

I don't think i'd make her happy. Yes, the sex would be fantastic... but beyond that, i don't know what else would work. T2 is gorgeous, has a fantastic personality, and a pair of incredibly cute kids... but she has problems i can't even pretend i can help her with.

And T is married.

And C... well, i'm not even going to go there.

Yes, i think i'm on the right track... i have some goals for 2007, and i think i should stay focused on those.

The future is bright... i just need to not let these distractions get to me.

What i'm listening to:
Boston More Than a Feeling
Boston
Boston
1