Here we are, nearly one month into a new year. New year, new me, right?

I’ve managed to survive yet another round of the annual, mid-January plague that historically derails any New Year Resolutions I set forth... meaning it’s time to actually hunch down and set some meaningful goals for the short-term future.

If the past couple of years have taught me anything, it’s that change is possible. It’s not simple. It’s not easy. But it is possible.

Diving into reading has changed me. I watch very little television. Movies rarely interest me anymore. If I find myself with some spare time, I’m most likely to curl up with a book.

Dropping twenty pounds in an extreme keto diet has changed me. My diet coach was correct: your taste buds change when you detox from all the carbs and sugars in your body. Yet, not quite in ways I was expecting.

That first Apple Grande I enjoyed on my first day resuming “normal” eating... was THE BEST FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER EATEN IN MY LIFE. And the Grape-Nut pie. And the New Year’s fritters.

In spite of that, I am back in control of eating and weight. My weight is maintaining at 158. I still feel great—albeit not as amazing as I did when I was in ketosis. And my portion sizes are greatly reduced.

One more round, after visiting my mother (and hopefully enjoying a pan of her amazing cinnamon rolls), and I’ll look as wonderful as I feel and I’ll achieve that target.

So, after a couple of years with a couple of significant changes, I’ve been contemplating what I’d like to tackle this year. It’s a given I’ll continue reading. It’s a given I’ll continue on my health journey.

What to integrate this year?

Last week, I picked up a book I had set aside eighteen months ago, and I have found the answer within.

This year, I want to embrace my shadow and conquer my ego. Being trapped within my own mind has held me back for far too long, and while I am happier than I have been in years, I’m more social, and I have so many beautiful ladies in my life, I still need to overcome my beliefs on “what is right” (it isn’t) and actually find my joy.

It meant a lot to me when Allie told me last week that she perceives me as a joyful person. She sees the rage within too, but she supports me in my struggle for balance. She’s a fantastic accountability buddy, and our friendship has grown one-thousand-fold since we met. I’m excited to have her along on this journey!

Seriously, the quality of people I have in my life since tightening my standards is nothing short of incredible. These guys and gals genuinely care about me.

The only thing missing—is me.

I’ve written about this leap hundreds of times in this space alone, yet I have yet to truly let go.

It is time to let go of everything I “know,” so I can become what I truly need to be. It is time to balance the dark with the light. It is time to live.

To that end, everything I do this year must move me towards this goal. Everything else is expendable.

What i'm listening to:

Girl Like You
Toro y Moi
Boo Boo