What a gorgeous day it is!!

Seriously, i would gladly give up a day's pay to stay outside and enjoy it! It's the perfect day to open up all of the windows and do some spring cleaning!

Of course, that will never happen. Not at this job anyway. Ugh, i hate my job!

Loathe, despise, abhor... well, you get the picture.

It's a good day to begin my exit strategy. =^)

And of course, in typical fashion... we can expect snow tomorrow and another cold and bleah weekend. Another week in the midwest, i guess. After all, that has been the story for the last few months, gorgeous weather on Tuesday and Wednesday... cold and rainy/snowy/windy on the weekend.

Definitely creates the desire to find a job where the hours are more flexible, doesn't it?

I'll have to take advantage of the weather tonight... as soon as i possibly can get outside!

What i'm listening to:

You Made Me Come to This
Shakespear's Sister
Sacred Heart

Tonight, i take my first history exam of the semester.

I'm not terribly worried about it. This exam covers the Industrial Revolution and the French Revolution, both of which i enjoy reading about and have always held a spot of fascination for me.

However, tonight will be my first venture into a timed/online essay exam. The way the professor has it set up is quite clever, and i have to admire his ingenuity in working with the material he's given.

I've really enjoyed reading his lectures... it makes me wish i had taken the "on-the-ground" class. I suppose that gives me something to look forward to, eh? I'll have to sign up for one of his classes in the fall.

Anyway, i will be glad to finish this exam and add a little breathing room into my schedule for a week or so. I'll be spending some time with my li'l sister Friday, since i have the day off of work. A happy accident, since my original reason for taking the day off fell through.

Tomorrow, i'll have to get back into the gym. Today's the first day i've felt normal since falling ill last week... so i should be able to complete a workout tomorrow. I really need to get back into a routine, though, because i'm having difficulty getting over there right now.

At least i'm not gaining any weight (in fact my current weight is 158!), and i still look good... but if i don't get back into some routine to build, or at the very least, maintain what i've got... i could lose it!

Anyway, time to go finish prepping for the exam!

What i'm listening to:

Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird...
Will to Power
Will to Power

Friday night, i went out after the performance with the theater group. It was a good time, great conversation, and some awesome shrimp with some wonderful people at Hooters.

I was really glad i went... especially since i wasn't feeling too spiffy yet, and had second thoughts en route.

Anyway, one of the points of the conversation was the myth concerning women who can achieve an orgasm through only nipple stimulation.

It was quickly debunked. One of the ladies at the table said she knows someone who is so blessed. I had to agree, because i've dated someone with that gift... two someones actually (although i don't know if the second qualifies as "dating").

"Keri," the youngest of the group stated that 3% of women are capable of achieving an orgasm that way. I'm not sure where she gets her information, but it seems i've seen that figure before.

"Jeremy," who'd brought up the myth, then had to ask where to find these women. While i could have answered that question, that wouldn't have been appropriate.

Anyway, it did make me realize that dating such a young lady has set an incredibly high bar for all future women in my life. Why? Because those few nights with her were so incredible! It's just amazing knowing that she's so into you and getting such pleasure out of your company.

Absolutely amazing!

But, if Keri is right and only three percent of the female population is capable... well, i suppose i have my work cut out for me, don't i? =^)

Then again, maybe those other guys just aren't doing it right!

It also turned out to be a bad night to forget the camera phone. Our director's birthday was last week, so the Hooters girls put her up on a stool and did one of their birthday routines that can be delightfully humiliating.

And, later on, several of the girls were demonstrating their talents riding the "rodeo stools." Trust me, you'd have to see it to believe it!

What i'm listening to:

Love Is a Losing Game
Amy Winehouse
Back to Black

One thing i've noticed during my "down time" this week is...

Wait for it...

I've enjoyed myself!

What i've been missing since the start of the new year is quality "me" time. I'd be lying if i said i don't enjoy what i'm doing, but i think the lack of time to relax has been stressing me out.

Which is leading to forced downtime. I just don't get sick that often.

Seriously, if i can date a gal who works at an airport for three years and only get sick twice a year, i shouldn't get sick at all now!

So, Saturday i'm going to take back some time to relax. I'm planning on doing very little and not going anywhere. Ok, i'm at least not going to leave town... and i'm going to plan on spending as much time as possible at the house.

I have housework that needs to be done, and i hope to get to some of it, but i'm not going to allow it to be a priority over relaxing. Although, some aspects of house cleaning have a very relaxing quality.

The forecast indicates it will still be too early to open the windows. Fresh air never hurts!

It is definitely time to fold some "me" time back into the routine.

What i'm listening to:

Virgin State of Mind
K's Choice
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: ...

Tommy James once said that everybody's three times in love.

Hmm... i wonder.

I have a friend who recently met someone that he's quite taken with. By my count, it is his third... should they arrive at the point where they are in love.

Of course, i do not know his entire history... but i do wish him the best. Absolutely!

Sadly, i cannot help but feel a touch of envy. I know i shouldn't--and i know i'm better than that--but i do. However, i am still very happy for him, and hope she doesn't hurt him. He's been hurt enough for two or three of a normal person. He deserves to be happy.

Which makes me wonder... do i deserve to be happy? If everybody's three times in love, i'd like to say i'm ready for my third, but i'm not it was ever love the first time.

And T? Well, i could have loved her... but it was over very quickly for reasons only she knows. I have my suspicions, and given my track record, my instincts are rarely wrong.

But that leaves me with only one. So, does that mean i'm destined for one more heart break?

Can i deal with another?

And why is it that i can read people i know so well, but people i'm "getting to know" i seem to miss all of the signals.

I was running on the indoor track at the gym Monday night, and watching the action on the basketball court below. I glanced over and noticed someone waving at me... she happens to be a young lady with very nice legs who i've been talking to on occasion.

It gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling that she was waving at me from so far.. but my question is, should it?

I don't want to be naive, but i don't want to be dense either.

I guess we'll see.

So, today was my first sick day in a long, long time. I don't like to call in sick. I've always been one of those who believes that if i'm going to feel miserable... i may as well get paid for it.

However, i'm on salary... and i wouldn't have been able to work today anyway. What sucks is that i'm finishing the day with a different illness than i started it with.

And i hate the feeling that i've accomplished nothing today. Today is the first day i've spent more than twenty minutes at the house, save for sleeping, and i didn't do anything. I should have cleaned, or done homework, or something... but no, i watched an old Cary Grant movie followed by Groundhog Day.

If, and i do mean if, tomorrow i'm still under the weather, i must do something around the house. If not, i'm afraid i'll go batshit crazy!

Have i ever mentioned how wonderful Airtunes is? I love that i can keep my music collection on a 'file server' and listen to my entire library on iTunes with my iBook... without sacrificing precious hard drive space on my iBook.

This is truly as it should be! =^)

What i'm listening to:

I Get Weak
Belinda Carlisle
Heaven on Earth

I'm not here for your entertainment,
You don't really want to mess with me tonight.
Just stop and take a second,
I was fine before you walked into my life.

So, another busy week ends. This weekend, i'm looking forward to having time to spin around in my office chair, do some hula-hooping, and maybe even toss a beach ball in the air!

Actually, i'm glad i'll be able to do some things around the house i've neglected since starting my theatre life. I'm not sure i've been home for more than 20 minutes in weeks... except to sleep!

It is snowing again! Big fluffy flakes that are accumulating fast! I LOVE it!

Next week, we're supposed to have spring-like weather... that's ok too. As much as i love the snow, i'm ready for a warm up.

And spring fashions.

Tonight is another cast party. I do like that the theatre people party so much... it is a great way to network with other people! Everyone who performs and volunteers at the civic theatre has another life that he or she takes a break from for the arts... and it is very cool meeting such multi-faceted people!

The schedule has been trying though, but it is very cool being a part of a new family. Each new performance, the awkwardness reigns in the beginning... but as we work together, the shields eventually come down and friendships are formed. If nothing else, at least i'm developing rapport with people i'd never had the opportunities to meet before.

Even if i haven't worked out this week. Final week of rehearsal cuts into my schedule the hardest... that and the snowfall.

Odd how people don't like to stay open late when the snow is piling up. Of course, i still love being out in it... even driving around in it! And, if there are fewer people out there... better for me! =^)

Next month, i'm going to do something different. My social calendar has been SO full since the first of the year, i'm finding i cannot accommodate even "myself" nights, and that my homework is suffering as well. The latter is worse than the former... although both could have an effect, given enough time.

So, it's time to nip this in the bud now.

What i'm listening to:

Original Sin
INXS
The Swing

What is it about this building, this office, this chair?

Every morning, i bounce out of my door thinking today is going to be a great day. I leave the house feeling motivated. I have a clear mindset, and a daily roadmap plotted out. I have a list of goals i want to accomplish each day, up to and including things i want to write down and say and do.

Then, it seems, as soon as i sit down at my workstation... it becomes a race against time. It's as if my employer has installed a siphon that drains my original thoughts and replaces them with doublespeak.

... and apathy ... and frustration at my clouded and muddled mind. It makes me want to scream sometimes. Or, at the very least, let out a barbaric yawp.

*sigh*

I have a couple of letters i need to write. I know i should write down outlines, or at least notes, because the map in my head has become so unreliable... especially on work days... but it seems my schedule is full enough these days that pausing to write things down isn't a habit i've been able to create.

I should add that to my list.

One could argue that i shouldn't be writing letters at work (or blogging for that matter), but we do get two fifteens a day, and as long as we don't leave the building we can use them for anything we wish. It's one of the few benefits we have left.

Tonight, as a perk of crewing a show for the civic theatre, we get free full body massages. Massages are fabulous, because there is nothing else i know of that can both relax and envigorate simultaneously.... and all of the tensions and stresses of the day are magically erased.

So, it makes sense. Tonight, i will write the letter. I will be relaxed, i will sit down, put on a record, focus, and write it.

If only there were some way to capture that feeling i have immediately following a massage. If only...

As near as i can tell, there is only one bad thing about being "high" on life and feeling good.

When a crash hits, it's a loooong way down!

I should have expected a crash today, Single Awareness Day. In the before time, this day was always amazing. I would elaborate on amazing, but i'm just trying to make sense of this in my head by journaling it... so i can move past it.

Let's just say that a LOT of memories have come up... and tonight it is very unlikely i'll make some new ones.

Wow, that was terribly pessimistic. So far this year, i've been able to overcome a lot of these memories and doubts... but today i'm getting hit with a flood that just isn't receding.

Tomorrow will be better. It has to be.

What i'm listening to:

Terrible Lie
Nine Inch Nails
Pretty Hate Machine