From Wikipedia:

Behind the smiles and charm, rats can be terribly obstinate and controlling, insisting on having things their way no matter what the cost. These people tend to have an immense control of their emotions, which they may use as a tool to manipulate and exploit another person, both emotionally and mentally. Rats are masters of mind games and can be very dangerous, calculating and downright cruel if the need arises. Quick-tempered and aggressive, they will not think twice about exacting revenge on those that hurt them in any way. Rats need to learn to relax sometimes, as they can be quite obsessed with detail, intolerant and strict, demanding order, obedience, and perfection.

The class I started last night may well be the most interesting class I have ever taken.

It's not just because I'm the only male with 8 females. Although, that helps! =^)

This is the first class I've taken that is actually going to help me with one of the bigger obstacles in my life. This class is designed to "help any actor truly make a role their own; to live fully within the imagined reality of the stage."

That idea, combined with my belief that where I am physically at any given moment is merely a stage... and that nothing outside of that stage matters, or even exists, will be very instrumental in my evolution.

I'll be able to focus on the here and now, getting the task done.

I am very excited about it!

The second rule of the class reads: Polite is useless.

His explanation of that was spot on. In our everyday lives we get tripped up, because we are so concerned about saying what we *think* the other person wants to hear. We worry too much about offending the other person.

However, in a stage performance, that hang up has to be overcome. I've seen some plays with very powerful roles in them. Just watching the actors maintain the "role" during some of the goings-on during a performance is truly outstanding.

I want that. Not just for the stage, but for my life. There are some valuable life lessons here, as I recognize that I let too many things get to me. I'm not saying I should become cold-hearted or anything like that, but little things like rejection, insults, and really anything that just isn't important, should just run off me like water down a duck's back.

And now I have found a vehicle that will help me to become a better person; more self-serving, more alpha, more stand-up, more take charge.

Just more.

This is a good thing.

What i'm listening to:

I'll Do Anything
Natural Selection
Natural Selection

It was time.

I've been staying away from caffeinated beverages at work for some time now. Check that, caffeinated sodas. My only indulgence over the last couple of months was a six-pack of Tab I brought back with me from the Vegas.

Why? Because, we can't get Tab here, silly!

Way back, in the before time, I gave up soda as a New Year's Resolution. At the time, I would easily drain a 12-pack of Mountain Dew every day. Oddly, I didn't do it because I saw that I was irritable, not sleeping well, or any of that. I just wanted to see if I could.

And I did fairly well, I made it until May of that year. What craving broke my will? Dr Pepper.

So, what craving did I indulge in today? Dr Pepper. Well, Diet Dr Pepper actually.

It makes me wonder... what is it about Dr Pepper that makes me crave it? It is definitely a unique flavor, but is it *that* unique?

Absolutely!

I've decided I need to re-tap into what's important to me. Right now, I've got a lot of activities going on, and they are stretching me thin enough that I'm not sure just how much effort I'm putting into the activities.

I'm enjoying the dancing lessons, and I think I'm finding some grace inside of myself that is coming out on the dance floor... which is very cool.

Tonight, begins my acting classes in the Meisner technique, which is designed to free actors from mental barriers they possess, and focus on the reality of doing. Oddly, I'm not taking this class with aspirations of becoming a "stage performer," but rather because I believe it will allow me to make any venue my stage, and to focus only on the performance there.

To shed my self-consciousness... that is the reason why. This will definitely help in many aspects of my life!

Everyday, it becomes more and more apparent that my J O B is becoming significantly less important to me. In fact, I think it is safe to say that nothing I do there means anything... to anyone!

A sign that it is time to move on. To tap into my passions and follow them.

I became lax over the summer. My workout schedule is off, my eating habits aren't quite as proper as they should be (not gaining weight, not losing weight, but not eating on a regular schedule either). If I want that six-pack, I'd better get back on that! Perhaps I let myself get too pleased with the way I look.

I was told at the club a few weeks ago that narcissism looks good on me. Of course, I had to agree with her! =^)

What i'm listening to:

You Get What You Give
New Radicals
Maybe You've Been ...

I realized something that disturbed me a bit yesterday.

It was in my history class. This particular class focuses on the "Grand Tour" of Europe as was undertaken by British aristocrats and gentry in the 18th Century.

I'm finding the class totally fascinating, and I'm loving reading these reports of these tourists written so long ago.

But, while taking part in the discussions I'm noticing two very big things. For one, my lack of knowledge of Europe in that era is staggering. Anyone who's been near me in an American history class knows I come up with answers very quickly... but I've realized that I haven't really taken any "lower-division" history classes on Europe. It makes me wonder if I'm in over my head because of references I'll miss.

Secondly, I don't seem to be as perceptive as I used to be. I'm enjoying the reading, but I'm not picking up on so many things that other students are. Again, this could be because I lack a frame of reference, but nevertheless it is bothering me.

I haven't been paying much attention when I'm out, but I'm wondering if my current inability to read "between the lines" is affecting my game lately. I suppose I'll have to pay attention to that when I go out this week.

It feels like I am reading so much more now than ever before... but I think that is a true statement. A large part of why my recreational reading goal isn't being met is because I'm reading so much for school.

After all, being a history major is all about the written record of what happened.

Is it possible I'm reading too much, and that is affecting what I'm retaining, analyzing, perceiving?

Am I concentrating too much on NOT over-analyzing that I'm beginning to miss details?

And now... am I over-analyzing this?

Yeah, probably. We shall see.

What i'm listening to:

Watching the Wheels
John Lennon
Double Fantasy

As much as I've been waiting for winter, today's cooler weather caught me off guard.

I suppose it is time to get the blankets back on the bed and unveil the winter wardrobe. It's a good thing I look hot in turtlenecks!

And that I've got the "muffin-top" handled... for now.

Saturday night, I attended and photographed an 80s prom night at the local club. It was a lot of fun, and there were plenty of hot women out and looking very fine in their "thrift shop" prom dresses. My tux and Wayfarers did not fail to impress either!

I've fallen into a group... where I'm hanging out with this group of young ladies. It is nice having instant "social proof" when I walk into the club, which helps when I move on the other women.

"Mary" is even starting to warm up to me. I'll just keep ignoring her, see if she keeps trying to get my attention.

Otherwise, the weekend was largely uneventful. I spent the bulk of it doing homework and working on a side project for the theatre. I'm sure I'll make up for that this week. =^)

What i'm listening to:

Ain't No Other Man
Christina Aguilera
Back to Basics

There was some truth to the rumors. Today, Apple announced the new “fat” video iPod nano (not their descriptor), the new “classic” iPod, and the drool-worthy iPod Touch.

The caveat to the Touch is the small storage capacity. Many people wanted a high capacity, touch screen iPod... however, the more I think about it, the more I think that such a device is impractical.

Unless you are more of a video guy than an audio one... and you want your entire movie collection with you.

My 20-gigabyte 3G iPod is bursting at the seams, so that I’ll be moving to an 8-gigabyte/16-gigabyte device is a little disconcerting. I’m leaning towards the smaller model, in which case I’ll keep my archaic iPod in service a while longer.

I’ll be more selective with what’s on the smaller iPod. It’s time to seriously reconsider what music I “have to have” on my iPod anyway.

I’m still loving the new Ozzy album, by the way!

When I purchased my iPod nano two years ago, I bought it with the idea that I would only load it with workout tunes, and a couple of favorite playlists for a couple of different moods. That formula has served me well, but I find that removing songs that are on it is tough than expected, so it is bursting right now as well.

Perhaps I’ll build a “smart playlist” that will do that work for me. After all, if I frequently skip a song, or blatantly ignore it for n days, why am I keeping it on there?

Good question, eh?

The features that clinch the Touch for me are the Wi-Fi internet access, cover flow, and the uber-cool photo gallery.

And I can see a use for some of the video features.

I will love being able to utilize any Wi-Fi hotspot without dragging out my iBook every time. W00t!

However, one hesitation I'm having is this... should I just get the iPhone and hack it to the T-Mobile network? Apple sensed the competition the new iPod would create, and knocked $200 off of the iPhone price... making this idea more tempting.

That might be more work than I want to deal with.

Anyway, I have something to look forward to now. I'll be pre-ordering soon!

On a related note, I present the news nugget of the day (from Playlist mag ):

Both companies took jabs at each other in their statements. Apple called NBC’s suggested pricing change a “dramatic price increase.” NBC responded thus: “It is clear that Apple’s retail pricing strategy for its iTunes service is designed to drive sales of Apple devices, at the expense of those who create the content that make these devices worth buying.”

Wow, now I love a couple of NBC’s shows (The Office, My Name Is Earl), but they are hardly “the content that makes these devices worth buying.” Apple was selling a shitload of iPods before the video feature was even an option.

It’s still primarily a music player. If the #4 network in the nation wants to pull it’s programmes from iTunes... I say, “See ya!”

Sheesh!

What i'm listening to:

Civilize the Universe
Ozzy Osbourne
Black Rain

What is wrong with this picture?

The former "American Idol" champ had a rough summer, splitting with her manager amid friction with her record label over the direction of her third album, "My December," which debuted at a disappointing No. 2 on the charts.

Number 2, eh? Yeah, I guess the album's a flop!

Keep aiming for the top!

I don't know how I haven't seen this sooner. I am really off my game!

This summer, I missed the new Ozzy Osbourne album... which is something I'm usually on top of.

Last night, I went out with a group of friends. Good meal, decent conversation, but some women just don't realize how "hot" I am. =^P

The last few nights I've gone out have felt... well, they've felt "off." I can't really explain it beyond that. Perhaps a small break to regroup is in order.

Perhaps.

Saturday was a very, very frustrating day... I was crowned "King of the Red Lights," when it took me an hour to get across town.

Of course, my analytical mind had to frighten me after that. Think about this:

Of the stoplights I encounter in a day, I manage to hit 85-90% of them on red. Now, it's just crazy to think that my timing is that horrendous... and even more ludicrous to think that the lights are actually changing just for me.

Which means that EVERYBODY hits red lights 85-90% of the time! So (at least in this town), more people are stopped than going at any given time!

Scary.

Anyway, even though my game has been off, auto-pilot has been helping to some degree (which shows some promise that some of my "A-game" has infiltrated my subconscious). I've been having fun, making new friends, making the ladies smile and laugh, making the grade in school, and even having some very interesting encounters.

For instance, last night I was far from on my "A-game," but I was able to recognize what I was doing wrong. I still managed to round the bases with "Daisy," so my off-game can't be all that bad! Besides, last night I had a taste of something I had dearly missed... ;^)

Nevertheless, I'm going to take a few nights off... sometimes a fresh perspective is all I need to get back on track. Besides, I need to finish my book!

And I still can't believe I missed the Ozzy album... from what I've heard it is quite good!

What i'm listening to:

Not Going Away
Ozzy Osbourne
Black Rain