That's what time I arrived home from the slumber party. A lot of drinking. A handful of gorgeous Hooters waitresses in slinky black evening gowns. More than a handful, actually! =^)

A game of Twister, "Heart and Soul" on the piano, more drinking, some nekkid bewbs. A lot of groping by the young ladies, hugs, and drunken kisses.

And I have no idea what was in those shots I drank. I'm not sure that's a good thing!

What a fantastic evening... it could have been better, but at least I met some new people and had interesting new experiences! =^D

And now that I've made "Phoebe's" acquaintance... who knows what kind of parties I'll end up at in the future!

Definitely something to look forward to!

What i'm listening to:

Forgotten
Avril Lavigne
Under My Skin

Detox is a bitch!

Words cannot describe how I feel right now, but I will make an attempt. I feel edgy and tired. My eyes want to close, but the sleep I've had over the last couple of nights has apparently done nothing. Additionally, my dreams are a bit disturbing.

I have been here before, but it was a long time ago... at least ten years.

You see, Sunday I decided to push straight through on my drive home. I usually try to spend the night somewhere, or get plenty of sleep the night before. However, this time around, I didn't spend many evenings out socializing. My last night there, I did... and ended up staying out past three in the morning.

Yes, even though I knew full well I would need to leave as early as possible the next morning.

At one of the stops in central Wyoming, I couldn't resist chatting it up with a cute nursing student in the c-store. She was purchasing an energy drink called Rockstar, so I asked her how it was.

I didn't buy one yet, because I don't usually care for energy drinks. The Mountain Dew product MDX didn't do anything for me, and I cannot stand the taste of Red Bull.

100 miles later, my curiosity got the better of me, so I made a pit stop, chatted it up with the cute girls working at that c-store, made them laugh a few times, and picked up a Rockstar.

You know, it tastes pretty good! Good enough that the 16-oz. can was gone fairly quickly, so on my next stop I picked up a couple more for the road.

Even though the road trip was long, limiting one's intake of this stuff is a good idea. Three cans later, I quite literally felt like a human tuning fork. I'd swear I could even hear a high-pitched hum coming from my vibrating body.

Anyway, I'm home now, and I'm trying to get the overabundance of caffeine out of my body slowly... because those caffeine migranes suck! I had one more can of it yesterday to get me going after none on Monday. Today, I'm sticking to Diet Dew.... hopefully I'll only consume one.

I'm still fairly lethargic and I'm craving caffeine. It is very reminiscent of when I was working the fast food circuit and consuming a six-pack of Mountain Dew a shift... which provided me with these same joyous side effects.

Soon, it will all subside, and I'll feel "normal" again, but for now, I'm pretty miserable.

Note to self: this stuff works, but only use one can in extreme circumstances. No more overdose!

What i'm listening to:

Sleeping Single
Roxette
Look Sharp!

Why is it that I am afraid of being successful? I've always been proud of being analytical and logical... but is it logical to continually sabotage myself?

I think procrastination is a sure sign of self-sabotage. I want to do well in school, but I still tend to not give my assignments the amount of time they deserve. I turn them in late, I turn in revised first drafts, I start them too late. I even overthink them and make the assignments much harder than they need to be.

Yet, I believe I want to be successful. I need to learn to walk the walk... not just talk the talk.

It's perfectly logical to be afraid of failure, but I truly believe that it's not failure I'm afraid of.

Another case in point. I'm ready to date. Very ready. The charm is back, the confidence, the charisma. I managed to score a date with "D" on Friday night, only to back out of it... and while I sincerely hope she doesn't think I'm a flake, how can she not?

"R" wants me to call her, but will I?

These women WANT to spend time with me... so why am I starting to push them away? Fear of failure? I don't think so... because I AM failing. It's like it is easier to fail than it is to succeed...

It has got to be a fear of success.

Why is it so hard to step outside of myself and conquer this fear? Damn it, man! Stop overthinking yourself to paralysis and be successful!

Last night, I listened to the song Red Light Fever by Liz Phair. Sure, I've heard it before, but last night was the first time I really listened to it. It's like she's singing that song right to me!

Scared the lights will turn green
You'll have to be seen
You'll be like anybody else
Scared the lights will turn red
You're stuck in your head
Too scared to commit to even her
How you gonna make it through?

What i'm listening to:

L-L-Love
Astaire
Don't Whisper Lies