Time will tell the tale of what i may have gotten myself into.

So, last night, my cell phone rings. Of course, i stopped carrying it long ago, so no one was around to hear it.

It's too bad too. It isn't often i get a call from someone who has a special ring assigned to her. Hell, who am i kidding? It isn't often i get a call!

Anyway, T₂ called 'cos she wanted to see me. We tentatively have plans to go out tonight.

I say tentatively, because we've made plans before that were never realized.

However, there was that morning at the driving range...

So, initially she wanted me to meet her somewhere at 3-ish. If only i hadn't run myself out of vacation time and pushed the envelope on tardiness during my grieving period... i would have gladly said, "Yes." However, i had to say, "Maybe."

I wanted to find a way to jockey my time around to meet her, but it would have been difficult at best... and i probably don't want to "give in" too easily to her every whim.

However, i know what it is like to have a busy, busy schedule... which is why i was hoping i could find a way to swing it.

Then we came up with an alternate plan. We're going to have our date at the casino. That's where my "what have i gotten myself into" remark comes from. I don't have a gambling problem, and i don't really have a money problem... but i don't know her well enough to know if she does. I could see this night going sour very quickly if she decides to ask me to invest in her dance with Lady Luck.

Maybe i'm overexaggerating... i suppose that's why i need to take more chances and not be uber-cautious. I can't possibly get burned every time. Nobody's THAT lucky!

Yet, i'm troubled because that statement still seems to lack logic. I suppose the safest road will be to take a "wait and see" attitude. Besides, on the up side, the casino does have a hotel! =^)

So, this weekend has potential to be interesting at least.

I'm also troubled because i seem to be conflicted. I feel like i'm at a crucial turning point in my recovery into "single-hood" and i'm a little nervous about my judgement and rationality at this point.

I've been single a while... and at least for right now, i don't like it. It just doesn't fit me. So, i keep getting these feelings and talking about them. I'm afraid it sounds like i'm missing C, but that's not what i'm trying to say. I don't really miss her... but i miss having a girlfriend.

And since she's the most recent girlfriend, i feel like it could be interpreted that i miss her, when in reality, she's gone. Even if we were to hook up, she's not the same sweet, innocent girl i fell for. She's gone.

At this point, any lucky contestant could fill the role of "girlfriend" and maybe someone will get lucky tonight!

What i'm listening to:

Red Light Fever
Liz Phair
Liz Phair