Something is going on with me. Before the Master Class call today, I couldn’t identify it. Or really describe it. Everyone around me is worried. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. Yet, I’m not “depressed.” My gut feels… something. And, maybe for the first time ever, I trust it. Because my mind isn’t racing to figure it out.

Finally.

There is an immensely strong attraction between the girl I met in December and me. And she senses when my mind kicks in. When I feel possessive. When I slip out of relating with her and into those sinister and familiar habits.

And she’ll message me almost the instant I ground and become aware of what I am feeling and where.

Desire is awakening. And with it passion. Suddenly, I know what to say and how it’ll land. Not just with her, but with all of them. I’ve even shot some notes to long dead leads… heartfelt and from the gut. With good response. Which is good, because now I know what and how to practice speaking my truth. My mind is seriously blown! It’s been simmering inside me for about a month now, but now that I know WHAT IT IS, I can finally feel a force inside of me. And it is good. I understand the "This is a good woman" feeling. The tesão!

Add to that the added practices for using my anger as a tool and respecting my honor over my pride… I am excited for the next several months. And banishing all but the HELL YES’s from my life. Thank you, Hans!

“What do you want from her?”

When I saw this question I stopped. Full stop. And stared at it for several minutes.

So simple. It lies at the root of every interaction. With this question in mind, you cannot possibly fuck it up.

Profound.

Yet, looking back, I am aware of just how often this question gets lost. In the feelings. In the noise. In life. When we retreat into our heads. When we start thinking, “God, I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Our saboteurs are funny that way.

That grand question of “What do I want?” is far too complicated. How can we not crawl into the safety of our thoughts?

“What do I want from her?”

This beauty. Right in front of me. Right now. We know. And this. This is desire.

Some days the beauty is just breathtaking.

And renders me speechless.

Today is one of those days.