Today, I realized I’ve dropped 27 pounds since McDonald’s stopped carrying the Chicken McGriddle.

Yes, the Chicken McGriddle—my life was forever changed.

Think chicken & waffles. Perfectly seasoned chicken with black pepper. The sensational pancake bun that makes the McGriddle so desirable. That syrup nugget.

And now it’s gone. My girl and I are in mourning. Seriously. What’s the point? Why eat?

I’ll leave you with this quote from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (book, not movie):

I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake of the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonald’s has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait—they didn’t add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrapped it up in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them... the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionary grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.

Yeah, it’s kinda like that.

What i'm listening to:

The Loophole
Garfunkel and Oates
Secretions