So, now that i'm thinking of putting myself back on the market, i've been thinking about what i might just be looking for.

I keep thinking about things like my criteria from the "before" time. Oddly, i am still incredibly shallow... i don't know if i'm as bad as i was. In the before time, these were the requirements:

• left-handed
• brunette
• have freckles
• cute nose
• weigh no more than i can carry
• a sense of humor
• be photogenic (and like it)
• someone i could talk to intelligently
• no tattoos
• no smoking
• attached earlobes (ya rly!)

Needless to say, the ex did not meet all of these expectations... of which i am certain there are more that i just do not remember. However, she did teach me that i could love someone for who they are as well as for who they are not.

Fat lot of good that did... but i don't want to go there.

Anyway, while i don't believe i am still *that* shallow, i've been thinking about what might be a potential deal-breaker.

Cute nose is still a must! Same with sense of humor. Being photogenic would be a plus, since i am a fledgling photographer who can always use a muse...

One thing that didn't seem to matter too much to me then... i wonder if it matters now?

It has occurred to me, that while unlikely at my age, i might find someone who wants to wait until she is married. Considering what i had with my last girlfriend... i'm afraid that would be a deal-breaker.

Does that make me a horrible person? It's funny, because i've never really put much stock in scruples, and i still don't really care what people think... except now it matters, because if i want to find a good woman to share my life with, i cannot alienate everyone around me.

C was a gem, because she was determined to reveal the good person she believed i was... she was persistent, and she succeeded.

And when we started seeing each other, sex was not an issue... not at all, really! We enjoyed each other's company, did things like watching movies, roller skating, mini golf, small road trips.

We waited to have sex until we were both ready... which is how i believe it should be. I don't like the idea of waiting until some time that is determined by some other entity... i think a man and a woman can determine this without society's boundaries.

However, we really enjoyed sex. One could argue that we were sex addicts. And, it was always fantastic... and even after the breakup, i don't think she would disagree with that.

So, is it reasonable to think that if i find a woman, and we just hit it off, that our dates might progress into intimacy fairly quickly? Is that a recipe for disaster?

The advice i get most from my friends is that i just need to be myself. Well, i'm afraid that if sex isn't in the mix... then i'm not being myself and i'm setting the relationship up for disaster. What can i say, i need a promiscuous girl...

Again, does that make me a bad person?

More importantly, will i find this woman? I found her once, and i was ready to marry her...

What i'm listening to:

Promiscuous
Nelly Furtado
Loose