Do you know what it's like when it's wrong, but it feels so right?

Well, of course YOU do. What about the rest of you?

So, i suppose i've been asking myself a lot of questions about where to set boundaries. Each day i feel a bit more stable, and as that happens some of the boundaries i had crossed since the exodus from the 'before time' will need to be put back into place.

Some, on the other hand, will not. After all, so many of the changes in my life have been wonderful. I can only look forward to having someone to share everything with someday in the not-too-distant future.

We'll see.

I've also been re-evaluating the nature of my association with both D and T₂. D is a sweet, caring, funny and beautiful girl... and she's a lot of fun to be around, but i just can't help thinking that if she were truly interested in starting something she wouldn't be so resistant to the idea. Her answer is always either "someday" or "maybe."

Someday, is always acceptable. Hey, i maybe light years above where i was months ago, but i'm still damaged goods. I still cannot completely comprehend how C could do what she did... more on that later. D has told me that she's been through a painful breakup not too long ago as well, so i can see where "someday" comes from.

It's the "maybe" that scares me. Maybe almost suggests that i'm wasting my time and i should move on.

However, she genuinely seems to enjoy my company. I'm just not sure how good of a judge of "genuine" i am at this stage in my recovery.

Then there's T₂. She's kind of a mess... but there is a lot of attraction that goes on between us. I absolutely love watching her face... she has so many facial expressions, i could stare at her all night long. However, she's got some problems that make mine look like a mosquito bite or a stubbed toe. If i hook up with her, i accept them and either try to help her through them or get bogged down by them. Of course, ultimately, she has to decide to fix the problems... and i have to decide if i want to go down that road knowing it will slow my personal growth down.

And she seems to be resisting too... always promising to call, but never calling. Well, she called once. But just once cannot be a good sign.

Maybe she's either not interested, or ... who knows?

Anyway, i think it is time to scale those pursuits back and see about creating new ones. Maybe i need a fling or two to accomplish the "mission" and clear my head. =^)

It is still exciting to think of the potential that i have... and that i may not yet have met "Ms. Right." There is so much positive out there, that my emo/negative days seem increasingly more unnatural.

There is so much to look forward to. So what if she couldn't see that?

The day after tomorrow... the new beginning realized.

What i'm listening to:

Key
Devics
If You Forget Me