Yesterday was a very profound day for me.

Everything i observed, everything i overheard, everything seemed to reinforce the realizations that i had yesterday. It is time to make some changes.

It is hard to believe that i have become so caught up in life since the "before" time, that i had forgotten some very big goals and dreams i had during that stage of my life.

It is time to focus again on those dreams... i deserve to be happy, but i will need to work for it. I must have faith that there will be joy in my suffering... the benefits of risking the venture into the unknown will be so much more satisfying, more fulfilling than continuing to wallow in my unhappiness.

As long as i stay where i'm at, the unhappiness will not cease. That much is certain.

I am being called to be so much more than i am right now... it is time to stop ignoring that, brushing it off as if it were an annoying fly. Faith is believing in that which we know is true, even when we cannot explain it.

Another realization i had yesterday is that tomorrow i will lose my plane ticket for that flight i cancelled last year while C and I were broken up. I suppose eating a $200 plane ticket is better (at least less painful) than one of the $400 tickets we'd occasionally purchase in our frequent flights to see each other.

Back when she had faith.

Anyway, in the mail yesterday, there was a piece of junk mail. It was cleverly disguised as something from United Airlines. It implied that i was going to lose my frequent flyer miles if i didn't act by mid-November on their offer.

It was an offer for magazines. They weren't even good magazines... or magazines i'd ever consider reading.

Not only that, i could have subscribed to every magazine on the list and still had miles left over.

Anyway, i was frustrated because i had to read the piece of mail over and over and over before i determined that i'm not going to lose my frequent flyer miles... only my chance to subscribe to one of their fine publications using my miles.

Bah, anyway!

Well, there is no better time than now to live my life. If i am not doing what i enjoy, then what is there to look forward to if i have to anticipate doing it everyday for the rest of my life?

No wonder i have had such a hard time remaining positive!

That changes now...

What i'm listening to:

Piano Concerto № 21 in C major
Mozart