Recently I stumbled upon a meme that asked the question: What feels like it’s illegal, but isn’t?

Calling in sick when you’re really sick, was the response.

Why is this true?

I agonized over this decision on Thursday... much longer than I should have.

In fact, I even Googled: Why do I feel guilty when I call in sick?

Naturally, I found an article that offered reasonable guidelines for when it is appropriate to call out from your job.

One of the guidelines was, essentially, if you will bring value to the shift, or if you’ll just be in the way. (I am paraphrasing.)

I called out due to exhaustion. To be honest, management cannot name a peer who has logged as many hours in March as I have. I’m tired. Fatigue is definitely affecting my job performance... and that I cannot abide.

So... no matter how guilty it made me feel... I called out.

For the first time. At this job, anyway.

Which sparked questions via text. Because I don’t call out. Which didn’t relieve my guilt. Because I don’t call out.

But I am exhausted. Seriously, I would have brought no value in today. I have nothing left to give.

I had hoped it’d be like murder—easier after the first time. Of course, I have no frame of reference.

Do I?

Anyway, I am still exhausted. And I am anxious about tomorrow.

Will it get easier?

Like murder?

Or will I succumb to drugs that I know will prop me up and get me through another shift?

Odd.

Murder = illegal. Drugs = illegal. Calling in sick ≠ illegal. Why does it feel like it?