Did you ever wish you could be someone else? Or at least that you could change something about yourself?

To be less intelligent, perhaps?

This. This has been the core of my current existential crisis.

Guys who don’t think too much live great lives. They don’t overanalyze. They don’t get stuck. They get laid like rock stars. Hell, they don’t talk their way out of sex.

They aren’t trapped in their heads. They’re aware of what’s going on. They know when to roll with it.

Then there’s smart fuckers like me. So busy analyzing every. single. movement. As if it’s a fucking game of chess.

Should I kiss her?

If you have to ask, the answer is yes. Don’t fucking think about it. If her face is near your face, and she’s looking at your eyes and your lips and tilting her lips towards yours, then she wants to be kissed.

If you hesitate—if you ask yourself the question—and she senses it. The moment is over. She’s disappointed. You may not get another chance.

Does she like me?

First, you should be asking if you like her. Second, if she’s drawing a line across your back every. time. she walks behind you, she likes you. Hell, if she’s still there, she likes you. Should you strike? Hell, yes, you should.

Again, if you hesitate—if you ask yourself the question—and she senses it, the moment is over. She’s disappointed. You may not get another chance.

Okay, so I’ve been trying to train myself to be present for the better part of a decade now... and I find myself stuck in my head just as much as ever. What will it take to finally let go?

The girl. I kissed her. Another girl, we held hands and embraced and stared into each other’s eyes most of the evening. Later that night, I found yet another girl on my lap.

Pro tip: if she’s on your lap, she’s down to fuck.

We did. A few times.

Another pro tip: you cannot trust a word she says while you’re inside her.

I haven’t seen her since.

And even though being present proved itself to me that night, guess where I’ve been since.

Back in my head.

Fuck.

Stop thinking about it. Be social. Be present when you’re being social. Stop with the self-loathing and show up and be a man. She will notice and she will be there too.

What i'm listening to:

Every Breath You Take
The Police
Synchronicity