As a child, the public school system and my parents and society in general indoctrinated me with the absolute horrors of sex. I really think the goal was to make kids terrified.

Of course, it wouldn’t work on all of the kids... but on the introverted kids who always overthink things, it worked. Too well.

As an adult, in the dating world, it has presented me with a terrible dilemma.

You see, as an adult I am still learning to detach from outcomes... from expectations. And I’m learning that the release from outcomes and expectations is quite. simply. wonderful.

I now understand life is not meant to be 100% planned. It is frequently better to just flow with the tide and see where you end up.

And you end up in some beautiful places. With some beautiful women. In some incredible situations. And you get... lucky.

Very. lucky.

So, you decide to prepare for the next opportunity. Protection. It’s responsible. It’s the thing to do, right?

It turns out that there is a fine line between letting go of outcomes and carrying a condom in your pocket. And it’s enough to salt your game.

By simply carrying the condom, you’re telling your subconsciousness you’re expecting to have the sex.

And that’s enough. It changes your body language, the way you present yourself, your actions, your words. And she can pick up on that.

If her self-esteem is low, or if she’s incredibly horny, it may not matter so much.

But if she’s so hot. Or she’s unsure about how far she wants to go with you. It’s enough. She can sense that you want something from her. She becomes an object. She goes on guard. She decides that cucumber will suffice for the evening.

And you’ll go home alone.

Which explains why so many “players” in my life managed to get in “trouble” so many times. They go in without expectation. That freedom alone increases their attractability ten-fold. They are SEXY.

Some girls carry protection... they don’t want to get in “trouble” either. But many don’t. And if you don’t, and things happen.

Acceptable risk? Perhaps.

I have a friend who’s facing the same crux. But he has an advantage. He’s a total transient right now. Everything he has is within reach. Meaning condoms aren’t necessarily with him because he’s ready for sex, they’re with him because, well, where else would they be?

There must be a balance. Maybe it’s just managing the mindset. Taking the release of expectation to the next level.

It’s time to find out.

What i'm listening to:

S&M
Rihanna
Loud