It’s sad that after spending so much time and energy (and money and other resources) being “social” and transforming myself into five pounds of fun in a ten-pound bag... that I’ve returned to my non-social and reclusive ways. I’m finding it’s like allowing a slow-carb cheat day turn into two, then three. It’s really, really, really hard to get back to that mindset, that lifestyle.

So. How do I find my inner Kid Chaos?

*blank stare*

Do I even know? Will I eventually lose the ability to be fun? I know that if what I’m doing feels unnatural, it’s not something I will continue. However, I remember all of those great times with so many wonderful girls.

I started out knowing nobody, and that is certainly no longer the case. While I crave the “fresh start,” my logistical situation does not lend itself to my getting this handled anywhere but right here, right now.

Actually, it’s time to take a step back. Start socializing again. There are some great tips in The Happiness Project book on making new friends... utilize those. In fact, there will be advantages to making new friends, and instantly “friend zoning” any new lady acquaintences.

And be present!

Being present is the constant theme that keeps returning in my notes, in my journal, and here. Why do I struggle so much to get out of my head? This anxiety is what I really need to get handled.

Kid Chaos is in there somewhere. I think some new friends may be just what I need to bring him back to the surface.