Today ended up being a bad day. A box was waiting for me when i got home... full of stuff C had "borrowed."

I suppose i should just be glad that it wasn't full of the gifts i'd given her.

The item in the box that hit hardest was the Airport card for her iBook. I suppose she may have found one at the Apple store... i can't imagine her cracking the keyboard to pop it out. Anyway, since she wanted to stay in touch via email and loves her iBook... i hope she can keep it wireless.

If she still wants to keep in touch, that is.

So, anyway, i got to thinking about what i need to send back. There are countless scrunchies, a bathrobe, a t-shirt, toothbrush, and some other li'l items.

Plus, there is something that i bought her before the 'bold statement' that isn't here yet... and i don't really have a use for it, so she'll get that too.

Within the last two months we were pretty serious about the relationship. We even went to the local furniture store to pick out what would eventually become "our" bed. We both laid down on it... to discover if we could accept the amount of moving each of us do at night. We even had a plan to go halfsies on it. Seemed fair, right?

Friends and family seem to think the "seriousness" is what scared her. I can't disagree with them... but again i wish she had told me her concerns. Now i can't help but think our relationship has always been clouded by secrets. Maybe, just maybe this is her sweet revenge for an incident that happened six years ago... and maybe this was her plan all along.

No. While i love a good conspiracy theory, C doesn't... whatever happened happened quickly and profoundly. She believed i wanted her to choose between me and Colorado. I was just frustrated she didn't mention her desire to stay there sooner, but somehow she will always see that as an ultimatum. If it was, i certainly didn't mean it as such... sometimes it was so hard to get a dialogue going! But, if she's been so unhappy... if things were building like she says... why, oh why didn't she convey this to me?

Anyway, i still intend to get the bed, which is a queen. Since i'm currently in a full, that leaves bedding i was also going to give her in the meantime. I know she'd appreciate the heated mattress pad... especially on those bad days. So, do i include that in the box, or is that too much? Maybe i should wait on sending the whole thing... she wants her space, and everything was an extra to keep here for her visits.

Well, by the time someone reads this who can answer the question... i'm sure she'll have moved on and on, and with any luck, i will have as well. Suppose that's what i get for hiding this journal from the search engines as long as i did.

Anyway, i have a movie review to write for my music in movies class. It is a movie i don't particularly like, although the music in it is quite good. My date will help me "get through" it, i'm sure! =^)

Today, i overheard a wise man say, "There's only so much you can say about something that's bad before you sound like an asshole."

Perhaps that applies to relationships ending as well?

What i'm listening to:

Comfortably Numb
Pink Floyd
The Wall