After spending the entire weekend thinking about life in 1992, i almost went through the entire day thinking it is the 19th.

I'm glad that bubble burst early. At least i knew it was Monday, but for some reason i thought it was the 19th.

I'm a strange one, i suppose.

So, why was i thinking about 1992? Well, i suppose it has something to do with watching the DVD set of Melrose Place first season... i know, i know, but we all have our guilty pleasures, don't we?

It was a pretty significant year for me. I was fresh out of high school, and i still had a air of naivete about me. I was living in Phoenix, falling in love with the warm weather and the pretty girls and the big city.

However, that summer i made the difficult decision to return to Wyoming. I still had a lot of growing up to do and i wasn't exactly making it on my own.

What still sticks out about me back then is how much of a neat freak i was. I mean, i was almost OCD about being clean and having a clean house.

I wonder what happened... that's a habit i could really use again!

I remember that was the year i got reacquanted with S, whom i'd met my senior year. She was sassy and fun... and very sexy back then. We'd picked up almost exactly where we'd left off after graduation.

The next year we would be snowed in outside of town and have a rather fun night in a hotel room...

Somedays, i wonder what she's up to. She married a friend of mine in '94 or '95... divorced him a few years later and took a chunk of his money, and if the rumor mill has any validity she figured out she was a lesbian.

She could be a lot of fun. Note, i didn't say she WAS a lot of fun. I learned a lot from her... mostly i learned not to put up with her shit.

She certainly wasn't Miss Right. In fact, for being a Miss Right Now, she managed to alienate all of my friends and drive me into some serious debt it took a while to recover from. And wow, did she have a temper.

In fact, since her, i've had a difficult time making new friends of the opposite sex. I did eventually rebuild the friendships i had previously, but i've since lost touch with all of those women.

But she was a part of my life... and i'm still thankful for that.

Oddly, looking back on that now, i see that she was a major part of the person i've become. Sure, i'm confident with people i know and i won't let anyone use me for a punching bag or a doormat... but i've lost a certain je ne sais quoi when it comes to meeting new people. Especially the ladies.

Which strikes me as odd. It's like i'm subconsciously afraid to close the deal... because i'm charming and funny and i'm even approaching hot in my looks.

I suppose there are still a couple of steps i can take in my confidence building. I've had pointers from some of the best... so we'll see where that leads.

What i'm listening to:

Slave to the Grind
Skid Row
Slave to the Grind