The aftermath:

Tonight, i sit here thinking maybe 'A' had a very good point. Perhaps i am un-date-able.

Ok, where did this sudden burst of negativity come from? Well, let's just say that i blew it with D.

Yes, blew it.

And now that that is over, all i can do is analyze what happened during the aftermath.

What happened? I happened... just like with C and T and everyone else prior.

I've got some issues... major ones, in fact.

I have this complex with myself at the center of the universe. I think i get it from my father... anyway, i am incredibly freaking uptight.

I realize that i don't know how to just let myself go and have fun. Everything i do has some ulterior motive... there's always got to be something in it to satisfy my endgame.

So, perhaps D is truly better off if i just drop completely out of her life. After the way she blew me off tonight, that would probably suit her just fine.

And maybe i'm just not ready to date yet... which might be wise. Last thing i want to do is end up in a self-destructive relationship like C is currently in.

I guess the damage from the end of my relationship with C runs deeper than i expected. It's possible i'm not ready to date yet. I should just worry about getting my house in order, and work on my life and then meet new people.

While i'm on the subject of people leaving, tonight i learned that the head bartender at a second club i frequent is having a going-away party on Friday night.

Tonight, i had a good chat with him... he's great, and i'll miss talking to him. He did say that there should be lots of women at his going away party... so it might be worth my while to be ready for that! =^)

Not to date, of course... i'm clearly not ready for that.

What happened with D? I'm still working that out... i'm afraid it is something in my character that is going to have to change. In fact, i'd already figured out it was something in my character... i just don't recall what i need to do after the drinks i've had to night.

So, i suppose i'll have to revisit this post at a later date.

W00t, something to look forward to!

Hope everyone has a great turkey day!

What i'm listening to:

Who Wears These Shoes?
Elton John
Breaking Hearts