I want to try something new.

Very new.

It's not that life in the midwest isn't satisfying. Well, maybe it is... partially, at least.

Anyway, I'm starting to get this urge to try someplace different. I don't know... Los Angeles, Phoenix, Denver, Atlanta, New York, Chicago... someplace big.

While it is true, I've always been a fan of living in a small town, the new and improved socialized me is craving the opportunity to go someplace huge. Somewhere where so many people live you enjoy a certain sense of anonymity.

Life is what you make it, right? The key is you actually have to "make" it. If you just sit, it just passes you right by.

So, I'm a little frustrated about my history projects. You see, right now I'm taking a class that serves as a prep for my dissertation that is a requirement for history majors. While I did pick what I thought was interesting... I'm finding it is becoming a source of frustration.

To make it worse, I'm taking another history class that requires a paper. Oddly, I'm really truly fascinated with the topic of that paper. I'm finding nuggets in my research, I'm enjoying reading the materials, and I'm eager to work on this paper. You could say it ignited a passion in me.

Which is what the dissertation should have done. That, my friends, is the crux of my problem. Is it too late to drop everything on the paper I've worked on for a good portion of the last eight weeks? Is that even a wise move?

Can the passion for the new subject provide what it will take to do eight weeks worth of work in four? Furthermore, would it be acceptable to turn in two similar papers on identical subjects to different classes? Would that be perceived as efficient... or just lazy?

I really want to take a break from school... but I want to get through it too. I wish I could figure life out, but right now I just don't have enough hours in the day to do what I want and need to do. My past choices, both career and school choices, are beginning to haunt me... which cannot be a good thing.

The second we begin to regret a choice, isn't that the sign that it's time to fix it? I can still, but it's going to require some guts, a lot of determination, and quite possibly a bit of sacrifice and hardship.

Can I overcome the fear of the unknown to make the choice I want to make?

What i'm listening to:

Don't Cry
Guns n' Roses
Use Your Illusion I