Occasionally, I ask myself this question.

From a metric standpoint, it is a waste of time. Nobody reads this blog. Those few who do, don't comment, don't return, or both.

While I would like to see more comments on here, I can live without them as well.

For someone in my line of work, who spends 8-10 hours a day in front of a computer, it seems silly that I would spend any of my spare time in front of my iMac while at home.

And for someone who's friends consider (at least at one time) a selfless person, it seems like an awfully narcissistic venture to maintain a journal that centers around me.

So, why do I do it?

Allow me to segue a little bit. Today, for lunch a group of us at work tried out the new Vietnamese restaurant in town. The cuisine was outstanding, but like so many other Asian restaurants, they had these placemats on the table featuring the Chinese Zodiac.

I'm not one who regularly follows horoscopes, whether it's the "Year of the Rat" or gazing into the stars. Having said that, I think it is uncanny how some of the things written hit close to home.

From Wikipedia:

Rat: Forthright, inquisitive, honest, hardworking, industrious, thrifty, generous to close family and friends, bright, intuitive, sociable, shrewd, clannish. Can be gossipy, critical, over-ambitious, avaricious.

From another Chinese Zodiac website:

Rat people usually have more acquaintances than real friends and they revere and cherish those close to them.

From the placemat:

You are ambitious yet honest. Prone to spend freely. Seldom make lasting friendships.

I have found many references, stating that Rats have few friends or have a hard time maintaining friendships.

That is a characteristic I definitely possess. For good or bad, it's something I've come to accept.

Which leads me back to the original question, "Why do I blog?" My few friends either do not have regular access to email, or they are almost as bad at sending email as I am.

So, essentially I do this to write letters. I think through this process of evolution I'm going through that maintaining a record is going to be invaluable when I eventually settle on what person I am to become. I am certain that he will combine the best aspects of all of these experiments I am undergoing... and it will be fascinating to look back and see how I got there.

Is that terribly crazy?

So, why a blog and not a diary? Honestly, it is almost easier to keep this "diary" online than it is to keep it on a laptop, a flash drive, or written in a notebook. I can post to the blog from anywhere, as long as I can find a computer... it doesn't even have to be mine! In a pinch, I could post an entry from my cell phone.

That would be a tedious endeavor though.

And, as long as I'm storing this "diary" online, why not let other people read it? If people can learn from my triumphs, my pitfalls, my stupidity, or my brilliance... then so be it!

That, my friends, is the reason why.

What i'm listening to:

Promise
Ciara
The Evolution