Would you tell someone if they were attempting to do something colossally stupid?

And what is colossally stupid?

As I am approaching “freedom,” I find myself in a crisis of sorts. For years now, I’ve been asking the question: what do I want? I believed I had figured it out, but have I?

Big change is big. And commitment is scary. Doing something irrevocable seems, well, colossally stupid.

After decades of accumulating STUFF, purging this STUFF is providing me with the gift of anxiety. What am I doing?

I pack something, then unpack it. Pack something else, then unpack it. I’m five days late in moving out of my house so the sellers can get to work.

It. is. battling. an. addiction.

STUFF has given me years of comfort. Some of the STUFF still provides me with joy when I hold it in my hands.

Yet, to achieve the freedom to travel, I really must take another (few/several) steps back. I really need to embrace the backpack.

Or am I being colossally stupid?

In this vast field of unknowns that are causing me pain, there is a small sampling of knowns:

• I have nothing. Any proceeds from liquidating my life will be gone when they are gone.
• I have a track record of bad decisions. One can argue, I have never made a good one.
• Even in the excitement of this journey, I am STILL only fantasizing about blackness. I don’t really look forward to anything.
• The chaos of extricating myself from my quasi-comfortable life has stripped joy from everything but my job—which is terrifying.
• However, I clearly need to get rid of my house. I never wanted it, and each year it becomes more of a weight around my neck. Besides, this market is perfect for this.
• But STUFF.

How stupid is it to sell something I’ll eventually replace? Colossally?

It’s only my third day out here, I don’t know.

What i'm listening to:

Everything Your Heart Desires
Daryl Hall & John Oates
Ooh Yeah!