I haven’t been sleeping.

Some nights, it feels like I’ve forgotten how to focus. Others it feels like I’ve forgotten how to let go.

Still others, I can manage to clear my mind, but then every nerve ending in my legs fires up. It doesn’t feel like it’s burning. It doesn’t hurt. But it’s letting me know my legs are there... like an incessant itch.

Ice baths help... almost long enough to fall asleep. Almost.

The insomnia hasn’t helped. When I do sleep, my dreams are incredibly vivid. Emotionally draining.

When I do sleep, I wake up exhausted.

I’ve been thinking of shoulda, woulda, coulda. A’s been on my mind. It’s time to let go. She has her life. I have mine.

I’ve been making tremendous strides in life. Opportunities abound! I’m excited about what I’m becoming.

If only.

If only I could sleep.

I never really sleep anymore.

What I’m listening to:

It Just Won’t Quit
Meat Loaf
Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell