Something many don’t know about me, is that I pay for a life coach. This is one of the things that makes me a better person... every. single. day.

One lesson he’s trying to beat into my skull is to stop leaving life on the table. It’s an important lesson, and I get it. Every one of us need to not wait for life to happen, and to go out and get it.

However, this is where I find out just how uncomfortable it is to break out of my shell. I suppose shells are hard for a reason—but that gorgeous young brunette at the party isn’t going to hurt me.

Hell, the worst that could happen is she’d completely ignore me... and even that is unlikely.

Yet, in that moment... the fog settles in and I retreat into my head. I forget about being present in the room and her energy and settle in the fog of emptiness.

Why is it that my “happy place” is so bad for me... and so empty?

When I manage to escape my shell, I thrive on the great energy of who I’m talking to. I listen. I react. I even manage to bring some girls home.

Yet, in some situations, I still shut down.

Clearly, I need to keep working on it. Why am I so difficult? I’m learning that life coaches do NOT make enough money for some of us who struggle so hard to break through that shell.

However, I suppose it’s worth it—that magical moment when it finally lands with me, and I get it. That is why I’ll keep pushing...

Every. single. day.