One thing I have discovered about myself is that I tend to look at the world through the eyes of a child.

I don't know why I do it, I just do. It could be how I cope with stress, it could be my "Peter Pan syndrome," or it could just be an attempt to hold onto innocence.

Some may argue that I haven't been innocent for some time.

Friday afternoon, my new camera arrived. Now, I only wish I had more time, but this is a particularly busy week with homework and other activities. However, I have been taking it out and taking random photos.

I think that is the major advantage to shooting digital. I'm more willing to be experimental, because I don't have to wait until I get the film processed to see what I shot. I can take the shot, glance at the LCD, and if I don't like it I can change my settings and shoot another one right away... same light, same conditions.

I'm excited about taking photos again... it's about time! =^)

I do wonder how my "childlike wonder" affects my relationships. I always thought it was an advantage, my spontaneity, my adventuresomeness, my dislike for boring routine, my passion.

And, once again, perhaps I'm thinking about it too much. Since I haven't had time to get out much, I'm afraid I've been using the "before time" as my sole frame of reference. Maybe she just didn't take me seriously.

I guess I never thought it would take so long to let go. For the most part, I have. C was poisonous to me. Somehow, she managed to repress me. Somewhere along the line, I decided she was the best I would ever find... and I stopped chasing my dreams.

Now she can poison someone else. Her problems run much deeper than I could ever even imagine.

My life is so much better now, albeit a little too busy. I need to free up some time so I can work on alleviating this loneliness. I guess by looking at things through the eyes of a child, I only see the surface... I don't see how people manage to juggle the many facets of their lives.

Last weekend, I ran into someone I met a month or so ago who was just starting his divorce. He was with his girlfriend, a rather nice looking young lady. I don't even know where to meet these women...

We'll have to do something about that. A told me last weekend that she was going to make it her mission to see me happy with some great woman. How can I pass up an offer like that?

What i'm listening to:

On the Radio
Regina Spektor
Begin to Hope