Tuesday, October 31, 2017, 9:37 am

Understanding vegans

There is a stunningly beautiful young lady in my life. She’s also smart, witty, and not vacuous. I actually enjoy getting to know her better.

She’s also vegan.

I don’t care that she’s vegan. She’s not trying to convert me. She may be judging me every single time I take a bite of bacon (mmm, bacon) in front of her, but it doesn’t show.

Yet, I just don’t get it. Why do “normal” and healthy individuals consciously avoid eating food that nature intends to nourish our bodies? Why are they so convinced that us omnivores are killing ourselves with our food?

First, if being vegan is so great, why does vegan food have to pretend to be real food?

Vegan shrimp? You say it tastes like real shrimp. How do you know? Why is this a thing?

High fructose corn syrup tastes like real sugar, yet the body seems to know it was gypped. Same with other artificial sweeteners.

Hundreds of thousands of dollars are spent each year on vegan foods that pretend to be real foods. “Meats,” “cheeses,” “milks.” Why? If you’re so insistent on eating plants, stop pretending and eat plants.

And honey. We’re abusing the bees? Really? What if we’re saving the bees from dying out?

I suppose this is the price of human enlightenment...

Then there’s population control. Nature strives for equilibrium, and abhors being out of balance. Without natural hunters, some species get out of control, invasive, then become pests.

Can you imagine a world with no predators for mosquitoes? Or possums? Or mice? Yes, humans have been responsible for over-hunting in the past and driving species to extinction/near extinction, but with care we can keep populations in control and still eat meat and wear furs.

Do vegans honestly refrain from killing mosquitoes? Or flies?

Finally, have we been removed from the food chain for so long, that we can actively deny our nature and our bodies’ cravings and not eat what we’re designed to eat? And tell others that what they eat is killing them?

No, beautiful. I will take my lesson from the other animals in nature. You do you, boo.

A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of sheep.

A final argument to follow our nature and eat what we’re born to eat.

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