I had to calm down.

I had no idea how bad it had gotten. Or when it got so bad. But it’s been a weird summer.

Was it the need for validation? Was it the endless chatter? Was it the detour?

Working on ourselves everyday can be exhausting. Yet, it’s necessary. At least enough to not back slide. That slope is slippery.

Damn.

When did it get so bad?

No wonder it did.

And now I’m back. Yet, if I think about it. It’ll be gone. It really is a feeling.

Embrace the feeling. And the mystery. No one needs to know what we’re doing.

And those patterns. Fuck. Patterns are predictable.

Yet there’s an actual human underneath the pattern. One that wants to be loved. Felt. Wanted. Seen.

Because we can overcome our patterns. Our idiosyncracies. Lord knows we want to.

If only we can recognize when we’re in our own way.

Hey, look in the mirror. It begins there.

Now that I am aware of it, it’s time to endeavor to stay grounded. For myself.

It’s time to get back to the roots, nourish them so I may grow.

A toast. To a season of growth.

Nobody knows what I'm doing. It's good for mystique.