Here we are. I’m another year older. Perhaps not wiser.

No. Wisdom is fleeting.

Spent most of the day with my favorite girls. Enjoyed some of the most glorious sleep of my life. May have even begun planning a return to the nomadic lifestyle.

There really aren’t many constants in life. And if you can come up with more than I can, you can probably break them down to fit into two... maybe even just one category.

Disappointment. And change.

Change is absolute. Nothing now is the same as it was two minutes ago.

Disappointment? Well, as I think about it, disappointment is the effect of change. We expect something. It didn’t happen (quite as expected, at all, etc.).

At any rate, I’m not dead. Perhaps that final disappointment is truly waiting for me to actually write something meaningful.

And I have been writing. Some original content. Some notes that mean something to me that I’m saving to put into my own words. Some notes only intended for my beloved’s eyes.

Is she becoming my beloved? Is she already? Yes, she is my beloved. I will likely never know if I am hers, however.

The way she looks at me, it’s unmistakeable. She can’t always believe I am real. Believe me, sweetheart, I think the same thing when I look at you.

Yet, she’s afraid. Very. Perhaps fear is a constant in life as well... and perhaps I will revisit that at some point.

She’s afraid to surrender to love. Those scant moments when she does, the current that flows through our skin is sensational. Truly electric.

She’s afraid she will ruin my life. Yes, there are consequences to our past decisions, and yes, we haven’t dealt with a lot of those yet. I am perfectly capable of ruining my own life, thank you.

To be honest, I fear I have ruined my life to the point where I don’t want you to have a part of it.

Until I watch your beautiful body as you walk out of the room... and back in a few moments later... and I don’t want you anywhere else either.

Damn. Are you for real?

Anyway, this new year has the potential to be the most trying—and the most rewarding yet. For both of us.

If only, I could get a hot shower...