Last night, I decided it might be a good idea to re-read my blog. So much has happened, and it is a surprisingly good record of my state of mind!

It confirms that I'm in a much better place now than I was eighteen, twelve, and even six months ago. Yet, I can still see room for improvement, which gives me something to look forward to over the next six, twelve, eighteen months.

I considered dumping posts... because frankly they're simply awful. I was certainly devastated in the early days of the blog... and there are a lot of things I wrote down in those posts that I no longer believe. However, it would be unfair to dump them just because I no longer feel that way.

Revisionist history... hmmm... makes me think of someone else I've read about. ;^)

It is refreshing to see evidence that I am growing as a person. I've mapped out the next step, so I'll be interested to see how that leap goes.

You see, I've always been a charmer. However, I have this hang up... I don't particular enjoy being in the spotlight. I don't like to be the center of attention.

I've realized that it is my charm that is one of my most attractive qualities. It also makes sense that if I really want to stand out to the future Ms. Right or Ms. Right Now, I'll need to find some comfort in being that "stand up" guy.

Perhaps it will be easiest if I can let go of caring about being the center of attention. Think about it, people who are often in the center usually aren't consciously aware of it.

Upon reflection, I'm at my best if I'm just being myself and being social and not thinking about (translation: worried about) having the attention.

Besides, what's wrong with attention? It's attention I'm going to need to take that next step toward becoming more social.

At least, I'm not that whiny, needy, clingy wussbag who started this blog. I am the best thing that ever happened to me... and no woman will ever have that title again.

Don't misconstrue what I'm saying... I believe someday in the near future, there will be a special young lady or two in my life. She (they?) will be a very special part of my life, and they will bring that to the table, but it is important that I don't lose myself in the process. I will always be able to exist without her.

And that, my friends, is the biggest breakthrough I've observed in my blog. For now, anyway. =^)