Think too much and it all goes away.

Those words have been a major influence on my life since first hearing them last winter. Actually, i had heard them before... but i never stopped to think about them. In 1986, i was 13 and didn't really think too much about anything.

But what's frustrating about those words... and how true they ring... is that i still can't stop thinking about, well, everything!

I guess it is how i'm wired. There are still moments when i think and think and think. In some ways, this rubbed off on C... because when she didn't think about things, she was happy. When she found out what kinds of things ran through my mind... well, i taught her how to think about things... and that is probably, at least partially, responsible for the demise of our relationship.

Anyway, last night i figured something out... something that shook me to the core.

Every woman in my life has made the first move. From M₁ to M₂ to S to A to K to C to T. And now there's R. Maybe this is ok, and i shouldn't give it anymore thought.

Yeah, like that will happen!

So, am i drawn to assertive women who know what they want and go after it? Am i not assertive enough? Is there a reason that i don't have a good track record with women when i make the first move?

I was discussing this with a friend last night. I really need to be assertive and close the deal. Just once. I think once is all it would take to demonstrate to myself that i can do it. Perhaps i keep stopping short of closing the deal for a reason... i don't know. There is always an excuse, i suppose.

Anyway, time to resume life... and try not to think about it so much!

What i'm listening to:

Venus
Bananarama
True Confessions

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