Yesterday, I realized something about myself. Something huge. I figured out something major that’s holding me back.

I no longer have any doubt that I will someday find love. I have seen it... at least the beginnings. It’s in that look... I can totally see it in her eyes. She’s mine... all I have to do is...

Well, all I have to do is anything!

So, I do nothing. That’s the rub.

For whatever reason, I must feel inside like I’m undeserving of happiness... undeserving of being a part of this wonderful young lady’s life.

Sure, there’s all that macho bullshit of “being unfair to the other girls,” but if I really like someone who really likes me back, the other girls really shouldn’t matter that much.

Right?

So, here I am... upset, hungover, and alone. It doesn’t have to be this way.

What am I going to do about it? Well, that, my friends, is the $64,000 question. I can continue to do nothing. I can leave my life in such chaos that I won’t allow anyone in.

Or I can stop shutting these girls out of my life. I can stop losing them one at a time and going through this sliver of hell each time. I can let someone in. I can take advantage of that look... the look where she’s mine, if I just do something.

Nothing isn’t an option. If I continue to do nothing, I’ll keep getting... nothing.

What i'm listening to:

You Can't Always Get What...
Rolling Stones
Let It Bleed