It is entirely possible that I’m drinking too much, not fucking enough, using too much, and not writing.

What is wrong with me?

Wait, I know.

I’m in a battle with my worst enemy. Myself. I KNOW I must step outside of comfort. I KNOW what I must do.

I know what to do to finish the projects.

I know what to do when she’s here.

I also know I’m not doing either.

How is my internal resistance so strong? How can someone so intelligent be so dumb? How can I be satisfied with an unsatisfying life—especially when I know how to change it, yet refuse to make the simple adjustments to get EVERYTHING I desire?

Yet, I never used to believe I had an ego problem. Who knew?

Damn it! It’s time to face the unpleasant truth. Use those true friends who won’t sugar-coat it—who’ll kick me in the ass and remind me what the fuck is wrong with me and will hold me accountable. This will be the hardest year yet, but I believe in getting this part of my life handled.

Do I like this girl? Do I want to give her what she needs?

It’s time to kick a li’l ass.

What i'm listening to:

Obsessed
Mariah Carey
Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel