If everyone else is crazy, perhaps the problem is you.

I find this applying more and more in my life. More failed dates. More flakes. Losing girls to fun guys... ultimately realizing I’m not as fun as I once thought.

After several months of this development detour, I’ve had many a-ha moments... yet nothing that sticks.

I still crawl inside my head. I still do nothing. I just watch in horror as the spark of interest fades from your eyes... while sitting next to me... because I’m not doing anything to advance this.

I’m breaking inside. I want to pursue this. I like you. You like me.

Why not? Life is short. Life is dull. Life is full of pain. And this is the chance for something special.

And I still do nothing. Your interest is hemorrhaging. Is it too late? I can salvage this.

No. I do nothing. Stuck in my head.

Fuck.

I know you want this. We wouldn’t be here if you didn’t. We talk of hotels and hot tubs. We talk of blankets and snuggling on the couch. We even figure out some logistics.

Yet nothing.

Why do I continue to struggle with this? Clearly, the problem is within me. My inner game is still not there. That’s the rub.

Somehow, you have to get out of your head to fix what’s going on in there. To improve your inner game, you have to roll with the moment.

I like you. You like me.

I thought I liked me too... but perhaps that’s the problem. I’m not ready for you until I like me.

The more I learn, the less I know.

Truly, this feels like the ultimate axiom.

Then there are the light bulbs. I’ve read so much this year—too much? Time will tell. At least there is a common theme. I’m nearly finished with The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, which is telling me to say, “Fuck it,” and do something.

It doesn’t even matter what I do. Just start doing something/anything and I’ll figure it out.

I’m not an academic. I crave fun and joy and these beautiful women. She’s into me, and all I do is mess it up.

Fuck.

Okay, that’s it. All of these profound lessons are not going to be wasted on me. It’s time to say, “Fuck it.”

Start doing something. Anything. Screw it up, if only to learn the lesson. At least you’re doing something. If you lose her, there are plenty more women out there. Get out there. Meet some girls. Screw up some relationships.

Just do something.

Hesitation is the enemy. Hesitation will destroy you. Stop thinking about it, and just do something.

What i'm listening to:

Cake by the Ocean
DNCE
DNCE