Complexities...

I've been thinking a bit about how complex i am. I am constantly in a state of evolution. I'm always trying to better myself. I want a better life than what i currently have.

And more importantly, i still believe i can achieve a better life. I know i'm not going to do what i'm doing forever... and i'd like to do something that actually means something to someone.

Something that doesn't only exist in cyberspace.

Anyway, it has occurred to me that maybe the ex was weary of dealing with the complexities of me. From what i know of this new guy, he's very much a "what you see is what you get" kind of guy. She is a little more complex than that, but maybe she gets some comfort in not having to make any guesses or assumptions about what he's thinking... what they will do at any given moment... or what to expect.

Whereas, with me... there is always the "new me" just around the corner. The "new me" is exciting to me though. It is a character trait i wouldn't change for the world! I think about how many different life changes i have going right now... and i'm so excited about it i can hardly sleep at night!

In fact, i think i'm on a track that i'm happy with for the first time in my life... which means there'll be less to figure out and analyze about myself, and more time to just be happy and enjoy life. That is the part of the ride that she WILL be sorry she missed.

When we parted ways, i promised her she wouldn't be disappointed in keeping me in her life. I suppose she didn't believe me... or it just didn't matter because she's "happy" in her comfort zone. After all, until now i haven't had the means to pursue goals and dreams... and major life changes.

At least i have the confidence that my decisions are good ones for me... and for whoever i may end up with in the distant and not-too-distant future.

There will be no more regrets... the world is mine for the taking... and it will be grand! =^D

Soon, i will have to charm the pants off of this lovely young woman in my history class... something to look forward to! =^)

What i'm listening to:

Fighter
Christina Aguilera
Stripped