When I started on this weight loss journey/lifestyle change, my coach told me that eventually the cycle of addiction would be broken... and the cravings will subside.

Yet, after four rounds of eliminating free radicals and detoxifying myself, that was not true. Not even a little bit.

Someone opens a drawer with cheesecake in it? I can smell that instant from across the building.

Pizza ad on the television? I can smell the pizza.

Oh, and those fucking french fries. Need I say more?

Until this time.

This round is different.

For starters, I am close to the end of my weight loss journey. My fat percentage is the lowest it has ever been, and I only have stubborn belly/back fat remaining—at least that’s important... because it jiggles. And looks terrible when I’m sitting.

As such, this round I didn’t see the usual significant losses on the scale. So, I pushed. I stuck to the food list for four weeks. Then five.

Many of my peers on this journey stick with it for six per round. A few never stray.

And here I am, at the end of the eighth week, hoping to lock in a weight under 150 before the holidays, and I’m not craving that burger. That cheesecake. Those cinnamon rolls.

I wonder... when did that happen?

Tomorrow is the day I can eat again. I had planned on a taco. And a cupcake. And cheesecake. And a burger. And fries. And macaroni & cheese.

Do I dare?

I’ve been looking forward to Thanksgiving. The sweet potatoes (without marshmallows, you savage). The Grape-Nut pie. The cornbread stuffing. The cranberry jalapeño sauce.

And Christmas. Date pinwheel cookies. Pecan candy.

And New Years. Those fritters.

Do I dare?

Can I really do it again after the start of the year? Break that addiction cycle and finally get to my goal physically?

I’m sure you can see my dilemma... maybe I should just keep doing my food list. Although a respite may be welcome. And effective.

Like when I stopped doing push-ups daily. Now the burn feels good again. And I’m seeing results again.

Perhaps a break is best.

Stay tuned. We’ll see what happens.