Let’s call this a great experiment. A study of awareness. And a study of how things affect the human body.

I have abstained from alcohol since Wednesday.

My favorite girl is too. This “test” is bringing us closer together.

She is afraid she is an alcoholic. This, I understand, as I went through the same thing… until my roommate experiment a few years ago.

No. In this case, she is not an alcoholic. The alcohol is not what she is addicted to. Rather, it’s the numbness.

Like me, she is rather empathic. When you feel all of the extra vibrations outside of you, it is incredibly tempting to turn them off. If only for a moment.

Or to drink to excess, when they get overwhelming. It can be quite uncomfortable to sit in your feelings. And the vibrations you feel from others.

Yet, we need to learn to sit in these feelings. To improve. To understand. To turn life around.

What do I know? Admittedly, not much.

I cannot speak for her, as while I am checking in on her often, I am also giving her the space she needs.

For me, however, I have noticed the following:

My sleep has returned to a more normal six to seven hours a night. Good, restful sleep.

My appetite has also returned. And not in a way in which I am gaining unwanted weight.

With those two, the brain fog is also returning. It appears I was right about improper diet (however mildly), is dulling my focus and requiring naps.

And, I no longer see the matrix. A glimpse here or there, yes… but that “immortal” feeling has left. This. I don’t like.

I am hopeful that awareness can help guide me back into flow state when I need and/or desire it. As it has helped with both insomnia and cravings in the past.

Is this a determination to never drink again? No, not at all. It is a determination to listen to the universe, my environment, my body, my inner observer.

As Amy and I have discussed, we are both powerful manifestors, yet we are broken. It is time we learn to put this power to good use. We both deserve pleasure and joy.

I am convinced the universe will provide it, we just have to meet it somewhere in the middle.

It is, indeed, about the journey.