Saturday, February 11, 2017, 5:35 pm

Making plans—breaking plans

I once worked for this lady who had a knack for asking questions about the most unlikely scenarios... only to have these scenarios actually play out. It was quite uncanny how the “crazy” she was able to conjure up came to life. Like something you might find in a movie.

Perhaps, at this point in my life, I have tapped into this. I feel like I can no longer make plans with anyone inside my social circle. I think that, deep down, I’m actually expecting them to flake.

I’m no longer ever surprised when the cancellation happens, but I am still continually disappointed. Maybe it’s me? I don’t know. Possibly.

Maybe I’m broadcasting that expectation, however subconsciously it may be lingering. So, if it is me, how do I fix it?

I get that I am not a “family guy,” and I no longer have to worry about how much money is available to hang out, but I’m afraid that somewhere in the last few years I lost something.

At one point, I was the Bigger and Better Deal. I never had to worry about others cancelling last minute.

Now, I’ll have to step out of my comfort zone and get that back. If that means I’ll have to make new friends, so be it.

I was raised to keep promises. If I say I’m going to be somewhere, I’ll be there. Yes, shit happens, but sometimes the shit isn’t going to get shittier if you’re not there—especially if there’s nothing you can do about it. If someone’s not dying (including myself) and Rome isn’t burning around me, I’ll be there.

I’d just like to have friends I can count on in a similar way. Money doesn’t matter. Bring your kids. I’ll pick you up.

But, nothing feels dirtier than allowing you to flake. It’s rewarding bad behavior. It sends the message that it’s okay to flake. It isn’t. It’s one thing if it’s a potential date and you aren’t really feeling it. It’s something else entirely if it’s someone you like and enjoy spending time with. Which brings me to that question for my friends: Is it me?

Do you treat all of your friends with the same lack of respect? Some of you, I believe that you do. What about your business? Do you cancel on clients and leave money on the table? Again, I know that some of you do. And that makes me sad.

Eliza Dooley was right.

When Siri is the only one who’s there for you, it makes you realize being friended is not the same as having friends.

At least follow this pro tip: If you don’t commit to plans, you never have to cancel.

On another note: I’ve finished ten books already this year.

What i'm listening to:
Voyager Head Underwater
Jenny Lewis
The Wall
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