Thursday, May 18, 2006, 5:24 pm

I've been thinking about something she said in her breakup email.

Yes, i know... i won't go into how improper that kind of breakup is.

Anyway, she said, "Just learn from this and move on."

So, this is what i've come up with... things i've learned after a 3-year blissful relationship:

• After three years, nothing i ever did for her mattered.
• Treating her like a princess doesn't mean she won't treat you like shit.
• Proving time and again you would do anything for her doesn't matter much.
• Taking it to the next level doesn't mean marriage.
• Being a "nice guy," isn't enough... neither is when she says this is "true love" and she'd never "throw me to the wolves."
• After three years, i should know exactly what she needs... without her having to tell me.
• If i don't, then it cannot possibly work out.
• Problems that are difficult, but can be worked out aren't worth her time.
• All the passion, the shared dreams, the phenomenal evenings, the miles traveled just to see each other, the awesome surprises, and all the multiple orgasms don't matter.
• Great sex is relative.
• If she starts playing games and treating you like shit... and you still try to work things out... only makes her more resistant to making it work.
• She can forget anything... even with an apartment full of things you bought her.
• Three years of a perfect relationship (or even a great one) aren't enough to warrant an explanation for ending it. Even more so after eight years of friendship.

And a slightly less snarky observation...

• I will probably be alright without her... some may argue i'll be better off... but that doesn't mean i can shut off the feelings like a switch. I suppose i believed that true love was worth fighting for...

Basically, what i've learned is this: everything i did right gave her every right to treat me like shit and dump me and that nothing i ever did for her mattered. Why should i even bother being a nice guy? Is true love even worth it if it is only going to end in heartbreak?

I NEVER saw this coming! If i had, i probably wouldn't have let her into my heart... we had a very passionate relationship and shared so much... and for her to just move on like this and shut me out forever...

Well, it just isn't fair.

So, why should i even try?

What i'm listening to:

The Night You Murdered Love
ABC
Alphabet City